Unexpected, Unwanted, Unbelievable
by thebronzeEF
Summary: Sequel to my one shot, Five Hours Straight, by popular demand. Spike's dream turned out to be a little more accurate than first thought. What's an already troubled slayer to do when she discovers that she's expecting? Baby fic ;-)
1. Testing Positive

The first few times, Buffy thought that it was some kind of false, trick result, but now after spending an obscene amount of money on pregnancy tests, she was pretty sure they were all telling the truth.

'How?' was the question running through her head. How the hell was she pregnant? How the hell was Spike able to get her pregnant? And most importantly, how the hell was she gonna keep this is a secret so she could get rid of it? This was the last thing she needed. Life was hard enough without having to worry about hiding and solving yet another problem. Things with Spike were meant to be simple. No ties, no complications and absolutely NO chance of pregnancy.

The slayer's inner monologue was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.

"Buffy? You okay? You've been in there for a while."

Of course, Willow being the friend that she was, she'd be watching out for her. Even through her own struggles at the moment.

"Yeah. Everything's cool." Even the slayer, herself, knew that she didn't sound very convincing. She took a seat on the side of the bath and continued to stare at the mini mountain of pregnancy tests until she was sure that the coast was clear outside. A few minutes passed before she stuffed the sticks into a trash bag, ran to her room and stuffed the liner under her bed. She had to make sure they were hidden until she had time to dispose of them.

In the mean time, she needed to get out of the house and preferably book an appointment at the woman's clinic for any day now. Yet another knock scared Buffy out of her skin. Jeez, couldn't anyone give her some peace? She didn't realise that the knock was from her window until she spotted a certain bleached blonde vamp crouching on a tree branch outside. What the FUCK was he doing here? He had no right turning up uninvited like this. What if Dawn saw? She pushed the window up in a rage, almost causing him to lose his balance, and just restrained from punching him in the face.

"Go. Now!" she whispered, forcefully. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, slayer. Just came to drop this off." He held up a silver charm bracelet. "You left this in your hurry."

She stared at him in disbelief for a couple of seconds before snatching it from him. "Don't just turn up like this. Now go."

He pouted playfully. "What? No goodbye kiss?"

Any other time, she might've considered it to shut him up but given the current situation, she was in no mood to play his little games.

"Goodbye, Spike." With that, she shut the window in his face. He hopped down a level, so Buffy assumed he'd left, but actually stayed and continued to stealthily peak through her window. He was in the mood to piss her off. Might teach her to be such a stroppy bint. She was turned the other way now, her hands linking behind her head. Spike could tell he'd gotten to her. He watched her carefully as she suddenly moved to kick something further under her bed in a hurry. When it didn't move as she wanted, she bent down and shoved it under. She even checked to make sure that it wasn't poking out the other side. Blimey, slayer really did want to keep something under wraps. The vampire guessed that it wasn't something all that big but he wanted to find out what it was all the same. To satisfy his curiosity, of course, but a part of him wanted to help if it was bugging her.

Spike started to hear distant voices at first that began to grow louder. The front door to the house soon opened and he wasted no time in jumping down and launching himself out of sight. He waited for Anya and the whelp to leave before he made his own exit.

Meanwhile upstairs, Buffy continued to sort out her plan of action. Tara and Dawn had class tomorrow, Anya had to go into the Magic Box and Xander had work too. The only person she had to be careful of bumping into was Will. She could just lie about going job hunting and the Wicca would be none the wiser. No one would ever know she'd been to the clinic. Conveniently, tomorrow was garbage day too so getting rid of the bin liner would be discreet and easy. Right now, she needed sleep.

It didn't take long for her to slip into some PJ's and curl up under her soft sheets. There was no other place she felt calmer and more protected. As she became more and more sleepy, she soon felt her hand drifting unconsciously to hold her stomach. The slayer hated herself for it as soon as she realised. She didn't love this baby. She couldn't! Who knew if it was even human? That thought just made Buffy feel even more squirmy. Whatever it was, this whole fucked up mess wasn't it's fault and the slayer knew that. She just couldn't be responsible for it. And neither could she let anyone else be responsible for it. Her mind was made up...


	2. Unfit

Trigger warning: Discussion of abortion methods.

* * *

Buffy woke extremely early the following morning. That was most likely down to the anxiety and anticipation of today resting uncomfortably in her belly. She tossed and turned for what felt like hours before she reached the conclusion that she wasn't getting back to sleep. Maybe if she got up and ready early, she could slip out the door just as the others were waking? It was certainly a workable plan, however as she dressed, the slayer realised that there was an underlying element of curiosity in her mind. What she was curious of, she couldn't pinpoint but she knew the feeling was there. It continued to bug her as daylight approached.

After at least another hour of being left alone with her thoughts, Buffy realised something else. The garbage truck would be here soon, and it was a perfect opportunity to dispose of the incriminating bag under her bed. She snuck downstairs and collected the other trash bags from the kitchen before making her way to the front door. What she didn't expect to find, however, was Willow making her way downstairs, glass in hand.

"Buffy?"

The slayer smiled, sweetly.

"Why are you up so early?"

Buffy desperately tried to recall the excuse she'd decided on, the night before. "Erm. I'm going job hunting today. I figured I needed an early start."

The witch's eyes flickered to the black bags she held in her grasp.

"With the trash?"

"Oh no. It's garbage day. I just thought I'd save you the trouble of taking it out later." She tried to laugh off her friend's suspicion, unsuccessfully.

"So, uh," she continued, desperately trying to change the subject. "How come you're down here too?"

Willow held up the empty glass she was holding. "I needed some water. I'm drinking gallons of it at the moment."

Buffy nodded as she backed up towards the door. "Well, I gotta go. But enjoy the water!" The slayer felt herself go crimson on the other side of the door. Enjoy the water? Seriously?

Willow was left standing, a little surprised, on the stairs. She hoped Buffy was okay. The witch continued down the stairs but halted at the bottom when something snapped underneath her foot. A white plastic-looking something. It was hard to tell in this light. She bent down and picked it up, nevertheless, and brought it closer to her face. It didn't take an expert to figure out what it was when the details of the object became clearer.

"Oh, Buffy..."

* * *

As Buffy sat in the waiting room of the clinic, she started to worry that she'd been spotted on her way here. There was no evidence to suggest so but every time someone looked at her in a strange way, it set off her worries. Finally, a woman emerged from a room and called her name. Buffy stopped herself from looking in any direction other than the one she was now walking in, fearing that she was being stared at again.

She was led into a small side room. Not very warm, not very friendly, but that didn't matter. After introductions, the slayer was asked to take a quick blood test and, of course, it confirmed that she was pregnant. Buffy hadn't had any doubt about her condition by that stage. She then found herself being asked about her situation and why she was considering terminating her pregnancy. She knew that this was all routine but she couldn't help but wish that the doctor was inside her head. Then she'd immediately know why she couldn't have this baby. Buffy explained everything as accurately as she could without sounding crazy. Like she could admit that the reason she couldn't keep her baby was because it's father was an evil, blood sucking demon that shouldn't even have been able to father children so who knew what was actually growing inside of her. Now came the 'convincing' part. As good as these lady's intentions were, no way could Buffy be convinced that maybe she was rushing into things and might actually make a good single mom. She could barely give Dawn a stable life right now.

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't live to regret anything, Buffy. Many women come here and realise that actually they want to be mothers even if the fathers aren't around or involved."

The slayer tried to smile. "I appreciate what you're trying to do. I know you just want the best for me but honestly, even if the dad was around and fit to be a parent, I'm not ready. I don't have anything stable in my life right now so a kid really isn't a good idea."

Buffy prepared herself for yet more arguing but was surprised to find her doctor looking pretty convinced.

"As long as you're positive. I can give you a day or two to think abo-"

"No!" Buffy snapped in response. The doctor didn't look even the slightest bit startled. She was probably used to this.

"I just need this all to be over so I can focus on getting my life together."

A few seconds past before the doctor got to her feet and walked over to an examination table.

"I need to determine how far along you are to decide the best course of treatment."

* * *

Buffy refused to look during the ultrasound. It would only make what she was about to do even harder. When the exam was finished, they got back to the matter at hand.

"From the embryo's measurements, I'd say you're about seven weeks gone."

Seven weeks. It felt strange that she didn't notice before yesterday.

After the tablet dosage, time periods of when to take the medication and possible side effects were explained, everything seemed to be pretty final. But the doctor had to make sure of something.

"Miss Summers, there isn't going back after the first dose. Are you sure this is what you want?"


	3. Drastic Action

WARNING: Continued themes of abortion. Some people might find this upsetting.

Be warned that Buffy does keep rejecting her baby for a while, but please stick with this fic. There are happier chapters ahead.

* * *

The last three days had been the slowest of Buffy's life. Even with nothing around to give her away, she was still frantically worrying that someone, somehow, would uncover her secret. She'd completed her treatment at least six hours ago and was still waiting for the side effects she was warned about to kick in. Her obstetrician was pretty certain that she would've started to feel them by now.

Meanwhile, Willow was still contemplating whether or not to reveal to Buffy what she knew. She'd left it this long to see if her friend would come forward about the pregnancy by herself but as more time went on and Buffy's behaviour grew more erratic, the witch didn't see that happening. She hoped to catch the secretive slayer out by walking in on her without warning, but she didn't seem to be doing anything out of the ordinary.

"Hey, Buff."

"Willow. Everything okay?"

The red head nodded. "I just came to check on you. You've barely been out of your room all day."

The slayer sat up straighter and pulled her knees to her chest, defensively. "Yeah. I'm not feeling all that great right now."

Morning sickness was the first thing that popped into Willow's head. She just wished she could be more honest about what she knew so that she could help her struggling friend.

"Aw, damn. Can I do anything for you?"

Buffy smiled sweetly but shook her head. "I'm good."

Will admitted defeat and turned to leave so didn't notice Buffy suddenly launching herself at the door a few seconds later. When she did, she quickly stepped aside and watched the slayer run for the bathroom, a hand over her mouth.

Yep, definitely morning sickness.

It didn't hit Buffy until after the sickness had passed that throwing up wasn't one of the side effects the doctor had mentioned. This felt exactly like the first batch of sickness she'd experienced outside of Spike's crypt. What if? Surely not? No. She needed to know and NOW. Buffy's panic was interrupted by Willow's voice on the other side of the door.

"Buffy, look, I know it's not really any of my business but...I saw the pregnancy test the other day. I know what's going on. I don't think it's a good idea to keep this to yourself. I want to help."

Willow was surprised when Buffy immediately unlocked the door and began asking for help.

"You want to help me? I need you to tell me if there's a baby still inside me."

The overwhelmed witch didn't know what was going on. "Still? What do you mean? The pregnancy test was right, wasn't it?"

"Willow, please just tell me."

"Even if I knew why you want me to check, I can only check for mystical lifeforces and entities."

The slayer sighed, exasperated, even though she knew her best friend wasn't to know that Spike was the father. "Why do you think I'm asking? Please. I need to know."

Without having a clue as to what was happening, Willow did as she was asked and held a hand a few centimetres from Buffy's abdomen. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she focused on homing in on any demonic, supernatural or mystical life nearby. It took her a minute or so to identify anything and then focus on it. A tiny yet rapid heartbeat began to echo around her head, in turn creating a faint, blurred image in her mind. However unclear the picture was, anybody could tell what it showed.

When she opened her eyes again, she couldn't miss Buffy's petrified gaze.

"Yes," the Wicca began. "Yes, you're pregnant. Now, can you tell me what this is all about please? Starting with how this baby is mystical."

Unsurprisingly, Buffy wasn't listening and barged straight past Willow to her room. She collapsed onto a chair, breathing heavily, fists clenched. Whatever this...thing inside of her was, a couple of pills weren't going to stop it. Something told her that regular methods weren't going to cut it. She needed something stronger, out of the ordinary. Possibly even magical. The slayer needed to put possible risk to the farthest reaches of her mind if things were going to go back to normal.

"Buffy, please." Willow was outside the door again. "Don't push me out. Let me help. You don't have to go through this on your own."

Each word made everything harder.

"Will...just go. Please."

"No. This isn't just some demon or apocalypse, even. This is a baby we're talking about."

The chair flew backwards into a wall as Buffy leapt up from it.

"It's not a baby! It's not human! It's an evil, disgusting thing I can't get rid of!"

Buffy mistakenly thought that Willow had left, as a silence took place, but then the Wicca walked in, disregarding any form of courtesy again. The look on her face unnerved Buffy. Then the slayer realised her mistake. 'An evil, disgusting thing.' She'd used that plenty of times before.

"Spike's the father?"

Buffy was too ashamed to admit it aloud.

"How?!"

"I don't know, alright? If I did, do you think I'd be trying to work out how to abort it by myself?"

Willow felt uncomfortable mentioning abortion. "Just because you can't...get rid of it, doesn't mean it's not human. Maybe its being protected by some mystical influence or something."

"You're missing the big picture here, Willow. How is Spike even able to...y'know?!"

Neither of the women knew.

"He shouldn't be able to. This creature inside me obviously isn't normal. It's half demon. This is all just so fucked up! I want it out of me."

Willow sighed. "Buffy, I know..." She tried to sound sympathetic but didn't have the faintest idea how to talk her friend down.

"Can you do it?" Buffy asked, an idea suddenly striking her.

"Do what?"

"Take it out of me. You've got to know something that'll work."

Willow was more than a little shocked at her request. Right now, more to do with her being asked to use magic, than the idea of getting rid of the baby.

"You know I can't. If I use magic now, I know I won't be able to stop."

Buffy placed her hands on Willow's shoulders. "I trust you, Will. I'll make sure you don't lose control again. I just need it out of me."

"I can't risk it. I'm sorry." The witch told herself not to feel bad for saying no. She had to look out for herself this time. Buffy held back the urge to yell at her friend. After all, that wasn't fair. Instead, she simply told her to leave.

"I'd help if I could. You know that."

"I know. I guess it wasn't fair of me to ask. I just want to be on my own right now."

An upset Willow retreated to the hallway, leaving the slayer frantically contemplating her next move. Buffy scooped her cell phone up and shakily punched a number in. She took her place back on the chair and lifted her legs to her chest as the dialling tone continued.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end answered.

"Giles, it's Buffy. I don't know who else to turn to..."


	4. An Unideal Scenario

A/N: Continued distressing aspects.

* * *

The slayer and her watcher had been on the phone for a good half an hour before Giles had suggested any actions Buffy should take in her situation.

"Have you asked Spike if he knows anything about how you could conceive?"

Buffy genuinely thought he was trying to be funny for a moment.

"It doesn't matter how it happened, only how we can get rid of it. No way is Spike going to find out."

"If Spike knows something, that might help us figure out how we can deal with this."

Giles really wasn't understanding her point. "You can prod and poke me with needles, force feed me any number of pills and send me to some clinic in the middle of nowhere. But Spike never hears a word of this. Surely your precious council know something about this."

Buffy really didn't need to hear the sigh that followed, on the other end of the line.

"I can tell you now, Buffy, that there has never been a case in history where a vampire has impregnated a human."

"Uh, Giles?" Buffy started, a little creeped out. "Less with the weird, cringey vocab. No one wants to be told that they've been...impregnated."

She swore she heard him polish his glasses then.

"The council insist that you allow a medical professional, to return with me, and examine you."

Buffy's grip tightened on the phone. "You can tell them to shove their medical professional up their ass! I'm not interested in playing their guinea pig. I want this thing out of me! End of discussion!"

"They want the same thing, Buffy."

The slayer didn't understand his mixed messages.

"If what you're saying is true, they want to study the child. This is a unique situation and we could learn a lot from it."

This was way too simple.

"What's the catch? Giles?"

"You need to carry the child to term."

Buffy was speechless. "I can't do that. I won't let this thing use my body to crawl into the world. What if it kills me trying?"

"The council have insisted that it won't come to that. They'll send someone to Sunnydale to observe you, make sure you have everything you need. If anything unusual happens in the third trimester, they'll perform an emergency c-section. They'll get it out of you."

"In the weeks you've been back in England, they've brainwashed you into good, obedient watcher mode, again, haven't they? Exactly like when we first met."

Giles said nothing on that matter and moved swiftly onwards. "They're prepared to strike a deal with you. Give you anything you want."

"How am I going to keep this from Spike for nine months?"

"Travers will deal with Spike."

Buffy took a few minutes to think, even though she was already pretty sure what she was going to say.

"Tell them...Tell them I'll carry this baby but I want them to stick to their word. Anything non-human happens, I want it gone and Spike never knows, even long after it's 're my only terms. I don't want anything else from them."

"Thank you, Buffy. I'll be with you within a day." He hung up. Buffy carelessly snapped the phone shut and let it fall to the floor.

That wasn't her watcher on the phone. Not the Giles she knew. The council had turned him back into something he wasn't. A part of her even wished she hadn't called him but having her own private doctor who knew what to do felt better than going through this on her own. She looked at her stomach in the mirror. "I can't wait until you're a million miles from me."

* * *

No matter how annoyed she was with Giles, as soon as he stepped through her door, eighteen hours later, Buffy was in his arms and didn't ever want to leave. Things didn't feel as bad with him around. Soon, though, reality hit when she was introduced to her obstetrician. She was fully trained to deal with normal pregnancies as well as mystical ones. For a member of the council, she was rather friendly. Her hazel eyes, soft strawberry blonde hair, her sweet smile. Very British, of course, but not in an intimidating way. With her, she brought a mini hospital. Bags of instruments, a couple of scary looking machines. Travers really did want this baby.

"Hi, Buffy," she began. "My name's Ana. I know I just got here but I do want to run a couple of tests quickly. Just to get some information. Is that okay?"

Wow. She was REALLY friendly.

"Erm, sure."

Willow had stuck around for moral support and to keep Xander and Dawn away from the house for now. Buffy'd had to come to terms with the fact that she'd have to tell people at some point but she wanted to be more aware of what was going on, herself, first.

Next came the blood tests and the ultrasounds. That wasn't quite as nerve wracking to her anymore.

"Would you like a print of the scan?"

Buffy immediately refused. She was not going to risk getting attached to this child in any way. The next ten minutes involved being told things she already knew when all she really wanted was to find out what was inside her and now it got there. One question that she might not know until the birth and the other, not at all. The thing that bugged her more than anything else, though, was whether Spike did actually know anything about how this was all possible. Having him interfere wasn't worth the risk of asking him, however.

"I think I just want to go to sleep now," Buffy confessed, pulling her shirt back down over her stomach. Ana agreed, before giving her a few do's and dont's. She packed up her equipment before bidding everyone farewell. "I'll check in, in a few weeks. But, Buffy, if you're worried about anything, or have any questions, please call me straight away."

Willow followed the slayer to her room and sat down on the bed next to her. "I think that went okay. Ana seems nice."

Buffy nodded, distantly.

"Listen, maybe having this baby is the best thing. I mean, whatever it is, it's not it's fault. It's just trying to cling on to the life it's been given. It doesn't want to hurt anyone."

Maybe her friend was right. But at the same time, no one could assume it meant no harm.

"Why can't I just have something normal in my life, Will?"

The Wicca began to stroke her hair. "Because only normal and normal attract. You're not normal. You're extraordinary, Buffy."

The slayer now felt the time was right to cry and once again fell into Willow's lap, weeping more than she ever had before. A few days ago, she didn't think her life could get any worse. She thought she was at her lowest point, working days and nights at the Doublemeat and having unemotional, degrading sex with her arch enemy. How wrong she'd been. The slayer would almost give anything to go back to that now. Even if her baby was human, it would only make everything worse. She couldn't win either way.

Willow did all she could to comfort her friend without saying anything else. She knew Buffy had heard too many words today...


	5. Salted Wounds

A/N: May I give my fabulous, long suffering beta, EllieRose101 a huge virtual hug for all the help she's given me on this fic, The Thin Blue Line and Beautiful Enemies. I don't nearly credit her as much as I should and I honestly don't know what my inner author would do without her. Please check out her own brilliant Spuffy fics on and Elysian Fields.

Please don't tear your hair out over tetchy, frustrating Buffy :'-)

* * *

"So, not only do they want me to keep the baby for their own personal experiments but they're now telling me what I should be eating and doing with my day?"

Four weeks had passed and the council's hold on Buffy had only been getting stronger.

"They just want to make sure that the foetus is healthy. We have to treat it as if it has the requirements of a regular human baby."

"Let me make this clear. I'm doing them a favour by carrying this for them. As far as I'm concerned, they can take the baby off my hands when it's born. Until then, they stay the hell out of my life. The only stupid...snobby English people I want around are you and Ana!"

Giles' first instinct was to react to the word 'snobby' but he held his tounge and decided to change the subject.

"Speaking of Ana, she says you're due your next scan."

Buffy slumped down on the couch, resting an arm across her slightly swollen belly. "Great."

Her attitude really wasn't ideal. Especially when Giles knew that she wasn't going to react very well to what he was about to say next.

"As far as she knows, you should be able to find out whether it's a boy or a girl."

The slayer's gaze suddenly fixed on the spot in front of her. After several seconds, she looked up at Giles, scowling like he'd never seen her scowl before. It dawned on him that maybe it sounded like he was trying to rub salt in the wound.

"Listen, Buffy. I didnt..."

He wasn't able to finish his sentence before Buffy hauled herself up and stormed off, muttering curse after curse as she went...

* * *

Giles, Willow and Ana were the only people who knew the real identity of the baby's father. They'd managed to convince Anya, Xander, Tara and Dawn that the dad was simply a one night stand and wasn't on the scene anymore. Ironically enough, the only person who understood Buffy's decision almost as much as the slayer, herself, did was Xander. He knew she was in a bad place and that she wasn't ready for kids. He also knew she'd make a great mom one day.

Spike was still completely unaware of his pending parenthood but, at the same time, was deeply suspicious of Buffy's rejection of him over the past month. She'd been trying and trying to convince him that she'd finally come to her senses but he wasn't having it. Unsurprisingly, she dealt with his persistence by locking herself away most of the time. The nosy morons at the council agreed that Buffy staying away from the vampire was for the best. Especially now that her pregnancy was beginning to show.

She spent most days simply trying to get through one minute after the other and focus on the day things could go back to normal. Subsequently, this had given her a lot of time to think and then overthink things.

Willow was making sure that she never spent too long on her own, however, and often visited the slayer, in her pit of despair also known as her bedroom. She brought food, magazines and plenty of gossip from the outside world. Sometimes, Buffy would show genuine interest but mostly, she just insisted that she felt too sick to eat or made a sarcastic comment about the council disapproving if she read any trashy mags. On those days, the wicca would do her best to guess what her friend was thinking - of course, without magic, as much as she was tempted - and encouraged her to talk about it. This time, she had gently touched on the subject of Spike and succeeded in her mission.

"He was asking about you yesterday," Willow continued. "And every other day in fact. He wants to know if you're okay."

Buffy sighed. "I would be if he hadn't put this thing in me."

Willow had done her best to be sympathetic this past month but she refused to say nothing when her friend overstepped the mark, which was pretty often.

"You say that like he knew there was a risk of it happening."

The slayer didn't put it past him. "Maybe he did. I mean, how else could this happen? He must know something."

"You need to overlook what he is and realise that he's as clueless as you. Except for the fact that you're actually aware of the baby."

Buffy said nothing.

"Think about it. If he knew anything, wouldn't he be over here checking up on you? You've been at it for months, right? Surely, a baby would've occured to him if he knew that it were possible."

"We WERE at it, Will. Were. Past tense," Buffy snapped, choosing to ignore the point the witch was really making. Buffy had selective deafness at the best of times. Lately, it was like she blocked out everything except facts that supported her side of the story.

"Buffy, whether you like it or not, Spike's gonna find out at some point."

She was shocked at the slayer's lack of concern as she sleepily explained that Travers had sworn to keep the truth from him.

"What did he say?"

Buffy didn't understand the Wicca's concern. "He said he'll deal with it. One less problem I've got to deal with, myself, right?"

Thoughts whizzed around Willow's head as Buffy curled up on her bed, intending to sleep.

"When the council say they'll take care of something, they're not being helpful out of the goodness of their hearts. You of all people should know that, Buffy."

The slayer was getting a little irritable. "What's your point, Willow?"

"There's always something in it for them. And who do they hate most of all? Vampires. Especially one that is a liability to their only dedicated slayer and her miracle baby!"

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, pretending not to care. She really hoped Willow was wrong about this but her words were beginning to sink in. Eventually, they did. She sat up and looked at her friend. "They wouldn't, would they?"

"They totally would," said Willow, as if it wasn't the point she'd been trying to make for ten minutes.

Buffy knew Willow was right. She knew deep down that the council's offer was too good to be true. Their one and only interest was the baby, and until it was born, the mother growing and protecting it. They didn't need the father.

Willow was kind of relieved as well as stunned as Buffy leapt to her feet and ran outside, grabbing a rather heavy duty winter coat on her way. A coat? In Summer? She definitely wanted to keep her body out of sight from prying eyes. Most likely, a particular set that belonged to a certain vampire...

* * *

Spike was just settling down for the night, well technically day, when Buffy barged into his crypt. He was unaware of who had the nerve of breaking an entering at first, being in the lower half of his crypt, but was well prepared to confront the intruder in seconds.

"Buffy?" he asked, genuinely shocked that she was here. An awkward silence hung in the air.

"Hi."

The vampire huffed. "You give me the silent treatment for a whole month and all I get is 'hi?' That thing you were trying so desperately hard to keep hidden under your bed really must'a got you spooked."

Every inch of Buffy froze. What? How did he..?

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know, sweetness. The last night you actually talked me, saw you shoving something under your bed." He poured himself a glass of scotch. "So go on then. What's got you so uptight and unwilling to speak to me?"

The slayer held her ground. "I told you. Things are over between us. I don't want to see you anymore."

Spike shook his head. "I think we both know that's all a load of bollocks. You don't change your mind that quickly."

"Well, I did."

The vampire downed the glass of poison, disgusting Buffy. How did he drink that stuff?

"Was it the dream?" he asked, pouring himself yet another tumbler. "The dream I told you about, is that it? Scare you off by being to honest, did I?"

Buffy was so tempted to say yes. It would be an easy get out clause and finally end his suspicions. But a part of her was telling her not to even think about it and not giving her an explanation why. Against all logic, she found herself saying no. "I just can't do this anymore."

"Then why are you here?"

Buffy wanted to be as truthful as possible, without giving herself away.

"I heard some members of the council were in the area. Wanted to give you a heads up."

Spike looked away, mumbling, "Like you care."

"I don't! But Dawn likes having you around."

The slayer jumped back a couple of steps and automatically assumed her fighting stance when Spike threw the whisky bottle at the wall, smashing it to pieces.

"Don't do that. Don't make excuses. You can blank me all you want, but don't lie. We had something. You felt something for me. You still do!"

"Of course I did, Spike."

The vampire was taken aback.

"We had lust. And passion and need and it wasn't healthy. That's all I felt for you. Maybe I even liked you, sometimes, and that's why I came to warn you about Travers."

"Travers?"

Buffy realised her mistake. She seemed to be making an awful lot of those recently.

"So it's not just a few members of the Wanker's council here by coincidence then?"

Buffy sighed. "Just watch your back okay? I won't be around to save your chipped ass."

She was just about out the door when Spike asked the question she feared most.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere. You just won't see me around here for a while."

Spike accepted that was all he was going to get and allowed the slayer to leave. But she had another think coming if she thought he wasn't going to find out what she was hiding...


	6. Lime Sized Bombshell

Buffy properly laid into Giles when she got home, after she'd questioned and questioned him until he finally admitted that Travers' intentions toward Spike weren't good. She wasn't all mad with him but she had no Travers to vent her anger towards.

"When I agreed that I wanted Spike dealt with, this isn't what I meant! How could you think of not telling me what Travers was planning?"

The watcher had grown used to his slayer's outbursts. "Well, considering the way you've been treating Spike, forgive me if I assumed you wouldn't care what happened to him."

"I've said a lot of things about Spike. But, for as much as he's a pain in my ass, I never once told you that I wanted him dead! Now get the council off his back and I'll make sure he doesn't find about the baby. I obviously can't trust anyone else to do that!"

Content that she'd driven her message home, and now bored with ranting, Buffy picked up the phone and started to punch in Ana's number. She was the only person she wanted to be around and could actually talk honestly with right now.

Giles was still stood looking at the floor when Buffy hung up.

"I'm going over to Ana's. The sooner this scan is over and done with, the better." Her voice was harsh and sharp.

"Buffy, I feel it best if..."

"Don't tell me what is best for me, Giles!" she yelled, in disbelief that people were still thinking that they had the right to tell her what to do, even after all she'd said.

"This is my baby, my body, my choice! And I can't be a mother."

"Then why do I feel that you're rejecting help because you're changing your mind?"

The slayer's blood was boiling. Who was he? She didn't know this person standing in front of her. Never before had he wormed his way, this deeply, in to her personal life

"What the hell makes you think that?"

Giles took off his glasses and polished them but, this time, his eyes didn't leave Buffy's.

"I guess I wasn't entirely positive. Until now."

Buffy was in no mood to be dealing with his cryptic messages.

"You've said a lot of things about the baby recently but you've never called it yours before," he stated, referring to her second to last sentence.

Buffy shook her head. Yeah, she'd said that, but it didn't mean anything. It was just an automatic thing. Of course it was her baby, and she was its mother. It was a biological fact. But, what did biology count for, these days?

Not entertaining the conversation a moment longed, Buffy left Giles standing there with one last instruction: "Don't follow me."

Her words were followed by the door slamming behind her.

* * *

Ana had really grown on Buffy, recently. She seemed about the only person who fully empathised with her situation and knew all the gory details. As a bonus, the slayer could take a good ninety percent of her questions to her and she was sure to know the answers.

Buffy could tell that, unlike the council, Ana genuinely cared about her and the child's welfare which always made her feel at ease whenever she was around her.

"Hi, Ana. I'm not interrupting, am I?"

The mystical obstetrician was rightly shocked when she opened her door on Buffy. It wasn't like her to visit in a hurry.

"No. Come in, Buffy." She immediately held the door open, welcoming her in. Buffy smiled gratefully and cautiously made her way inside.

She saw the open fire roaring as she stepped into the living room. It wasn't exactly cold outside but the heat felt nice. Ana led Buffy to the enormous couch before fetching her a glass of water.

"I must say, I'm a little surprised to see you, Buffy. Is everything alright?"

The slayer nodded but didn't really smile. "Giles said I needed another scan soon. I needed to get out of the house too, so I thought now might be a good time."

Ana looked pleased. There was a time that Buffy would leave everything like this to the last minute and wouldn't willingly allow Ana round so visting for pregnancy related reasons, off her own back, was definitely progress.

The slayer looked around, desperately hoping that Ana would say something to speed things along.

"Tell me about your day, Buffy. Has anything happened today that's prompted you to visit me?"

Oh, great. She was going all shrinky on her. Ana knew something was up so it'd be easier to just be honest with her.

"I went to see Spike."

Ana looked intrigued. "Any particular reason?"

"Willow said something that sort of got me thinking. I just wanted to see what he was doing. I guess I was scared he'd found out about the baby." She took a sip of water. It was refreshingly chilled.

"What's your biggest concern about him finding out? He can't force you to do anything you don't want to."

Wow. This woman may have known all the facts about Spike but at the same time, she didn't know him. As a person. Vampire. Whatever.

"Spike has a way of getting into your head. As much as you tell yourself he's doing what he is to torture you, you can't help but feel, at the back of your mind, that he's right. He even has been in the past. That's why I don't want him to know. Things are hard enough without him trying to guilt trip me out of what I'm doing."

"You think Spike will want to keep the child?"

The slayer nodded. "He might as well have told me straight out that he's wanted a normal life for a while now. He's done everything but tell me. A baby is the icing on the cake for him."

Ana smiled sympathetically.

"So...uh. How's this gonna work?"

Ana had forgotten Buffy's purpose for being here, for a minute. She got up and reached a hand out to Buffy. "This way." She lead her to a room that certainly didn't match the traditional, posh decor of the rest of the house. Well, medical labs hardly did. It was the first time that Buffy had been introduced to this part of the house. Honestly, she'd never even known it existed. The slayer felt as if she'd stepped into a hospital. This room was cooler than the rest of the building and had a sickening sterile smell about it. The council had probably spared no expense building this specifically for her. The machines and equipment were still covered by plastic sheets, new and unused. There were a couple of paintings hanging on the wall to make the atmosphere not so sinister but they didn't really do their job. In the top left hand corner of the room, there was a familiar looking examination bench and ultrasound machine.

Ana placed a hand on her shoulder. "Is everything okay?"

Of course it wasn't. But she couldn't explain that as everyone expected her to magically feel better and get over what she was feeling.

"Sure."

Buffy climbed onto the bench and lifted up her shirt. She was more than used to this by now. Ana flicked a few switches and pressed several buttons before squeezing the gell onto her abdomen and initiating the scan. The slayer closed her eyes as the familiar whirring sound of the baby's heartbeat started to emit from the machine.

"Can you feel that?" Ana asked, suddenly. Buffy opened her eyes and looked at her, being careful not to let the ultrasound catch her eye.

"What? What's wrong?"

Ana gave Buffy's hand a reassuring squeeze with her own free one.

"Nothing, dear. Nothing at all. I was just wondering if you could feel the baby kicking. It's moving about in there. It makes sense if you can't. Most first time mothers don't notice movement until at least sixteen to twenty-five weeks. I was just curious."

Without stopping to think, Buffy found herself looking at the screen. There it was. Who thought a little grey blob could cause so much trouble?

Ana was watching Buffy's face carefully. She seemed surprisingly calm yet, at the same time, fixated on the picture.

"This little one is no bigger than a lime right now."

"Oh," was all that came out of Buffy's mouth.

"Would you like to know the sex?"

Ana felt Buffy's stomach rising and falling, with her breathing, as it began to increase rapidly.

"You don't have to know. It's entirely up to you," she said, in an attempt to calm her.

The slayer squeezed her bottom lip with her teeth. She'd already broken her 'no getting attached' rule by taking a peak at the ultrasound. Was she going to continue defying that rule further?

She found herself saying yes. Ana looked pleased again. The middle aged woman looked back to the machine, seeming to be taking measurements or something.

"You're having a baby boy."

"A boy?" Buffy repeated, still very much in shock.

"He's quite the fidget. Doesn't seem to want to rest."

It didn't seem to be sinking in. Knowing the truth wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. However, if she went home, she'd be bombarded with questions and to be perfectly honest, she felt protective of the information she had just learned. It was personal. Nobody else's business yet. Perhaps she'd be prepared to rebuff questions in the morning. So where else could she go tonight?

The scan went on for a little longer as Ana went on to check if the foetus was developing normally and nothing serious was happening. As expected, everything was fine.

* * *

Ana walked Buffy to the front door and was bidding her farewell when the expectant mother asked her if she could stay the night. Nothing the council had told her had ever prepared for this. From what she'd read, Buffy was a stubborn young woman and barely ever asked for help from someone outside of the band of people she trusted. She knew she had to get to the bottom of this.

"Has anything happened at home, Buffy? I'm authorised to intervene if I have your permission."

The slayer leant against the wall. "I'm just frustrated with Giles right now and he won't go until he knows I'm home. I just..."

"Need a night away from everything?" Ana finished.

Buffy looked to the floor and smiled. It was her first genuine smile in a while.

Ana immediately welcomed Buffy back inside and to a guest room. It was the biggest guest room the slayer had ever seen. Twice the size of the biggest bedroom back at Revello Drive.

Ana flicked on the light switch. "Most houses these days have at least two bedrooms. And since it's just me staying here..."

The mother-to be stepped into the room properly to get a better look. The layout was very basic and lacked most of the furniture Buffy was used to in a bedroom but it was the most elegant one she'd ever laid eyes on.

"It's perfect."

"Do you need anything?"

The slayer shook her head. "I think I'm just gonna sleep. I'll be out of here in the morning."

"Take as long as you need Buffy. You're welcome here whenever you like."

Ana flicked another switch on the wall, turning on a bedside lamp, before turning off the main light.

"Sleep well," Ana said, a little awkwardly. Buffy thanked her, just as awkwardly, then waited for Ana to leave and shut the door behind her before she crawled under the covers. Luckily, she was wearing a pair of loose fitting sweats so she wasn't too uncomfortable.

Her heavy body sunk into the memory foam mattress, the velvety sheets feeling as if they'd always belonged against her skin. The fluffy pillows took the weight of her tired head, surrounding her face in the white cotton. She was really liking this bed. The slayer felt more content than she had in a long time and, for a split second, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Prolonging the bliss of that second, though, proved to be an impossible challenge.

Before she knew it, she was fast asleep, her dreams creating an image of the little, lime sized boy growing inside her...


	7. Game Changer

Buffy left Ana's before dawn, not waking her obstetrician up in the process. She'd text her later. The wind had picked up dramatically overnight and it was bitterly cold for someone in just a shirt and jeans. The slayer really wished she'd brought a coat in her hurry to leave the house, the day before. Still, she headed out into the bitter cold and made her way home as fast as she could.

Unfortunately, after walking about a mile, she bumped into the person she was least ready to speak to. Spike looked just as she was.

"Slayer? What are you doin' out here so early?"

Like it was any of his business. "What are YOU doing?" she asked, deciding that her best option was to use deflection tactics. "You know the sun comes up in an hour?"

Spike lifted the paper bag he had in his left hand to eye level. "Got a feelin' today's gonna be nasty. Wanted to stock up on the ol' swine's blood before Mr Sunshine pays a visit."

The vampire didn't take any notice of her arms, as they suspiciously crossed over her abdomen.

"So...is there a reason you're out in the freezing cold without so much as a jacket?" he continued to press.

Buffy gulped. "Uh..I..um. I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. The weather didn't look as bad when I was inside the house."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Don't know if it's just me, but I always assume it's pretty damn cold if there's a wind like this about. Don't you have ears? It's bloody howling."

"Yeah, whatever," she mumbled, going on her way again in an attempt to avoid his interrogation. Spike watched her go.

"You havin' troubles there, slayer?"

Buffy stopped and looked back round at him. "Huh?"

He looked to the ground, thinking of a way to put his observations delicately.

"Couldn't help but notice you're lookin' a little fuller round the waist."

Buffy felt her blood boiling.

"I'm just sayin' that snacking isn't the way to solve your problems, no matter how bad things get."

It didn't take Buffy long to get where he was going with this.

"I'm not fat you utter asshole!"

"Not sayin' that. It's just, I know your figure. Damn well, if I say so myself." His attempt at a joke didn't lift Buffy's scowl. "You need to learn not to take things so personally."

Buffy wanted more than anything to hurl something at him right then. "You just called me fat! Of course I'm going to take it personally!"

"I'm not saying that," he said again. "But you can't deny that..." He feared finishing his sentence.

Mixing a hormonal slayer with a firey confrontation never ended well. Unfortunately, Buffy realised that too late.

"I'm not over eating or hoarding food or whatever you're implying and you'd realise that if you knew I was pregnant!"

Spike's jaw dropped slightly.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell had she done!? After weeks of warning everyone else about not arising suspicion, she was the one who had opened her big mouth.

The slayer expected Spike to come after her when she started running away but she was surprised to discover that she was alone when she reached Revello Drive.

As soon as she was safe inside, and the door was locked, she slid down it, burying her face in her hands. What was she thinking? What did she ever expect to achieve from telling Spike? The truth was, she expected nothing. There was nothing good about him knowing the truth. It was just a stupid slip up that had occured in her temporary rage and now she had to live with the fact that her life was now ten times more complicated.

Willow must've heard the door slam because, she was now staring down at the slayer from the top of the stairs. Upon seeing her curled up with her head low, Willow quickly made her way down toward her friend, crouching beside her.

"Buffy? Where have you been? What's wrong?"

The slayer looked up, cheeks and hands rosy red from the cold.

"He knows, Will."

The Wicca didn't need the context to be explained.

"I didn't mean to tell him. It just slipped out. He got me so mad."

Willow tried to reassure her that what was done was done and Spike didn't have the power to force her to do anything. She, Giles and Ana would make sure of that. Deep down, Buffy knew that. But she also knew now that what she was doing was unfair and Spike would do everything he could to torture her and make her regret ever considering giving their child up to become a lab rat. He may not have known her intentions at that very moment but there was no way she could keep it from him now that he was aware of her condition.

* * *

About thirty minutes later, Buffy was cocooned in a comforter with a mug of a sort of hot tea. Willow had explained that Tara recommended the herbal recipe to her, a while back, for shock and nerves. Apparently the combination helped soothe someone right to sleep. The witch was also worried about the length of time Buffy had been out in the cold but wasn't allowed to call Giles, by her friend's request. They still had a few hours left before both her watcher and Ana would want confirmation that she was okay.

Suddenly, Dawn wandered in to her sister's room, the earlier commotion having disturbing her. She noticed Buffy's ever present distress.

"Why didn't you come home last night? We were worried."

The slayer made no attempt to comfort the littlest Summers, she just gripped the mug, she was holding for dear life.

"I stayed with Ana last night. I thought it was better to stay with her."

An already on edge Dawn almost bounded over to her bedside. "Is the baby okay?"

Both Willow and Buffy looked at each other.

"Everything's fine. Honestly. Go back to bed, Dawnie."

The girl was reluctant to but did as she was asked, pretty sure that she wasn't going to get answers to any of her questions.

"I think Dawn deserves to know the truth," Willow said, after making sure that Dawn was well and truly out of earshot. Of course, Buffy immediately rejected the idea.

"Not only would she side with Spike but she'd end up telling the others. Xander finding out is almost as bad as Spike."

Willow seemed to accept this.

"How do you know Spike won't?"

"Won't what?" the slayer asked, taking another sip from the beverage.

"Tell Xander. Tell Dawn. If he believes it's his and wants it as much as you say, what's stopping him fr-"

"That's it," Buffy interrupted. "I tell him it's not his."

Willow felt sick that she'd even unwittingly suggested that. As much as she felt for Buffy, she'd sort of been glad that the truth was out. Spike deserved to know everything.

"He thinks he can't have kids so let's keep it that way. Make him believe what the others do."

The witch did everything she could to hide the disgust she was feeling. She was already just swallowing the fact that Buffy was assuming that this baby was a demon and would be handing it over to a bunch of butchers as soon as it was born but, if her friend wanted her help to deliberately lie and manipulate Spike, she couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"You can't do this, Buffy. I get not wanting to tell him. I can live with that. But you, yourself, told him and now you want to lie to him? I won't let you. It's wrong."

Buffy's eyes widened and she placed the tea down on a table.

"You know what'll happen if he finds out. He'll take over and make sure this baby doesn't go anywhere."

"Well, is that really such a bad thing?"

The slayer threw off the comforter and started to pace the length of her room, Willow still standing at the other side.

"You really have no idea what this is like for me, do you?"

"Because you won't tell me! You won't talk to any of us!"

"You really want to know what this is like?" she yelled. "I'm not ready to be a mom. I need this baby out of my life and somewhere I know it'll stay out of it for good. If Spike finds out what I tried to do and what I'm planning, he'll take it away from me and never let the council near it. But they'll both always be too close. I'll have to risk seeing them everyday."

Willow stood in stunned silence as the slayer sat back down the bed. "Maybe...maybe if he understands that you were just freaking out, he'll be cool with everything."

Her face twisted up so much in frustration that it actually started to look like she was smiling. "You don't get it. Whatever happens, if Spike finds out, I lose. He'll take it or I'll have to keep it. Either way, it stays in Sunnydale with us. The council are my only choice."

"What about Spike's choice, Buffy? The baby's? They don't get a say in this?"

"It's. Not. His. Call. Willow!"

"Yeah, it is! It's both of yours. What did this tiny, little baby ever do to anyone? It's not its fault it's here and you're ending this life before it's even begun by sending it to England. If you really don't want it, get it adopted. Give it a chance at a life. We both know that calling it a demon was just an excuse."

Buffy struggled to find a comeback for that, but eventually complained that an adoption would take too long.

"What's a few days or weeks when adoption could give it a good life? Think about your child. You'd both be getting what you want."

The slayer said nothing.

"Right," Willow said, finally giving up. "I can't change your mind but if you lie to Spike, I don't want anything to do with this." With that, she walked out.

Buffy was left to reflect in a bubble of thoughts and ideas with no one she wanted to turn to anymore. She looked outside. Daylight was just breaking. Twelve hours from now, she'd have a very confused vampire on her step demanding answers...


	8. Paternity

It only turned out to five hours before Spike turned up to question Buffy's earlier outburst. To the slayer, however, it had felt like so much longer. She had barely stopped glancing out her bedroom window. Eventually, she recognised the familiar swish of his duster in the distance. Luckily for him, the morning's weather had remained miserable and grey so the sun wasn't a problem.

She thought she distantly heard Willow trying to calm him down at the door but it sounded like he had no intention of letting anything go as the door slammed and violent footsteps began up the stairs. She slowly approached her dresser and began to pointlessly rearrange various items around, anything to distract her from the impending confrontation destined to take place mere seconds from now. She didn't look round when he barged in but she felt his eyes immediately drift to her abdomen. He honestly didn't have to when the unmistakable gallop of the tiniest heart began to echo round his head.

"You better start explaining exactly what's goin' on cause I've spent the last few hours comin' up with ideas that don't even begin to make sense."

Buffy was folding a scarf when she found one of her mother's rings. She'd almost forgotten about this one. Spike watched her pick it up, anxiously awaiting her response.

"I thought it was obvious enough."

"Well...yeah, but I think you're missing the bigger picture here."

She slid the ring on to her index finger and then back off again, almost experimentally. "And what's that?"

Spike was speechless. Was she deliberately trying to fuck with him or did she really not have a clue?

"Hello? Not exactly a walking swimmer bank here. How the hell did this happen?"

"What makes you think it's yours?"

A wave of doubt washed over Spike for a split second but he immediately surfaced from it. He knew Buffy. He knew her life and how she ticked. No way had she been playing around with other guys while they were together. Besides, she wouldn't have been trying so hard to keep it a secret if she knew it was someone else's.

"Stop that right now before you end up digging yourself an even deeper hole."

The slayer slammed the piece of jewellery down.

"You didn't know anything about my life except that I used to sneak in to your crypt every other night. You've got no idea what I saw, what I've done, so you've got no right to make judgements!"

Spike took a couple of strides towards Buffy which, in turn, caused her to back up a few steps, until her back was pressed tightly to the dresser.

"I know you, Buffy. And I know that there certainly wasn't any other bloke around. When you came to me, you may not have wanted to, but you threw your heart and soul into what we did. No one understood you like I did or gave you what I did. You needed it just as much as I needed you."

The slayer gulped silently, the truth shining from her eyes. Stupid vampire. Why was he always right? More annoyingly, how did he make her show it?

"So don't tell me that babe in your belly isn't mine because we both know it is."

Now that was cleared up, he really wanted to know how they'd gotten from there to here.

"So, are you gonna start to tell me what the bleedin' heck I've missed 'round here?"

* * *

Their talk was slow and painful but, eventually, Spike was slightly more in the loop than he was before. Buffy kept quite a few details to herself. The details she knew would send Spike over the edge. Besides, was she not allowed to keep a few private things to herself?

"I get things have never been great between us but did you really think I didn't deserve to know about this?"

Buffy shrugged.

"Bloody hell, Buffy, I'm try'na make sense of all this and I need a bit of help here. Stop shutting me out."

"What do you want me to say? I'm barely getting used to this, myself. Telling you would've made things more...complicated."

"How would letting me help make things complicated?"

The slayer got up off of her feet, irritated that Spike instinctively reached to support her in case she fell. Jeez, she wasn't past walking without support yet.

"They just would, okay?"

That look in her eyes told Spike all he needed to know. "You worried I'll take over?"

"Well...maybe. You might?" She sighed. "What I'm saying is, I know you won't give me space. I wanted to deal with this on my own."

Spike pulled back after going to reach for her hand. "As much as you'd like to, you can't deal with this on your own. It's not healthy. B'sides, I wanna be a part of this."

His supportive words only frustrated her even more.

"Please, just stop. Stop pretending that we can play house and act like everything is normal."

"The only thing stoppin' this from be normal is you. Take a breath and try not to freak out."

"You're telling me what to do even now! I don't want you. I don't want you here or involved in any of this!"

Spike's face fell. "Buffy, don't do this."

"Just leave me alone."

Completely crushed, Spike ground his teeth and flew out on the landing, down the stairs and out the front door.

Buffy watched Willow run after him, from the window, calling his name but not getting a response.

As she watched him go, the slayer forced the guilt she felt down, to a place where it wouldn't get to her. She may not have done the right thing, but she was positive she'd done the smartest thing she could do in this situation.

* * *

After returning to the privacy of his crypt, Spike found it extremely difficult not to break down in tears. He screwed his eyes shut and bit his lip so hard he drew blood.

After all he'd done for Buffy and Dawn. After all he proved he could do, she didn't even trust or like him enough to let him be part of his kid's life. He'd always known she'd been stubborn as hell but never had he thought she could be this cruel. God knows he wanted to fight for this but, realistically, what could he do? The scoobies despised him and would defend their precious slayer's every word and no one else would be willing to help him. It wasn't just like he could force Buffy into letting him see their unborn baby. She would always have more rights than him. He hid his face behind his hands as he silently let the tears flow.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Bugger off!" he yelled, not caring who the hell it might be.

"Spike, it's me."

The vampire looked up, making his way to the door soon after. The last person he expected to see here was Willow.

"What'cha doing here, Red?"

She looked almost as miserable as he did.

"Whatever Buffy told you, I want you to know that I'm not a part of it."

"She didn't tell me much. Only how far along she is and that no one's got a clue how this happened. Why? Is there somethin' else I should know?"

Willow's eyes flickered to the ground and back up to Spike. Instead of saying anything, she handed him a small bit of paper with a name and address on.

"I can't stay. Just go round there."

"What's this?"

"Someone who can give you answers. Trust me." She smiled at him before heading back across the graveyard.

Spike read the address a few times before he had it memorised. He still had no idea whose address this was or how this person could help him but Willow obviously had a strong feeling about her and that was good enough for him. If there was any chance of keeping this kid in his life, there was no way he was letting any help slip away. He called out to Willow but she was already too far away to hear.

"Who's Ana?"

* * *

Giles had returned to check on Buffy, after their spat the night before, when Willow arrived back. The slayer automatically knew where her friend had been and saw red. How dare she?! After everything she'd told her earlier that morning.

"Giles, can you give us a minute?" Buffy asked, gritting her teeth and not taking her eyes off of Willow. Her watcher looked back and forth between the pair. "Would someone care to explain what's going on?"

"Not right now."

"Well, tough, because I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. The last thing you need is to be getting stressed in your..." He paused for a second but didn't let Buffy's glare put him off. "Condition."

"I'm not some piece of glass at risk of breaking. But you better back off before I do break something or SOMEONE."

Willow suddenly look petrified.

"Nothing's changed. All that's new is a baby, that won't even be here for that long, and enough hormone fluctuations to last me a life time so it'd be better not to piss me off."

The slayer realised that maybe she was going a little over the top with her explanation.

"What I'm trying to say is, I'm still me, so stop treating me like I'm not."

"No one said you weren't you, Buffy. We just want what's best for you. And the baby," she hesitantly added.

"I'm struggling to believe that. Now, tell me exactly what you told Spike."

Giles' breath hitched. "Spike?"

"Yup. Willow thought it'd be a good idea to go pay him a visit."

"AFTER Buffy blurted out that she was pregnant to him on her way back from Ana's," she snapped back, fuming that Buffy seemed to be blaming her.

"You told Spike? Buffy, I thought we both agreed that him not knowing was best!"

"It was an accident! I couldn't exactly deny it when he came by either." She pointed to her larger stomach. "That was the whole reason he noticed something was up."

"Wait. He was here earlier too? And you wonder why I'm afraid to leave you alone."

"I told him everything he expected to hear, nothing else. Unless Willow did."

The focus of the fight turned back to the witch.

"I told him where he could find Ana."

The slayer couldn't believe it. That would lead him straight to the council and eventually her plan.

"He deserves to know the whole truth, Buffy. I couldn't sit back and watch you lie to him and push him out."

"He won't find out anything from Ana. She's not that stupid. What this means is that Spike will do his own digging, like he usually does, and make my life a living hell when he finds out the council are involved!"

"That's the last thing I want for you, Buffy. You're my best friend. But you can take care of yourself. This baby can't. Spike needs to know everything."

Buffy put her arms up. "I'm not doing this. I'm going to find Spike. See if I can throw him off the scent...literally."

"I'm coming with you," Giles insisted, shooting Willow a disappointed look as he walked past her.

Buffy shook her head. "No. Things are complicated enough. I don't need you making it worse."

"Tough. I wasn't asking. I've already got a clear enough picture of what happens when I let you go wandering off."

The slayer didn't have a chance to respond before her watcher was out the front door.


	9. Worth Trying, Worth Considering

Spike instantly looked Ana up and down when she answered the door. She didn't give off an evil vibe or any sort of sinister intention for that matter. It was a start. Anyone who'd been even remotely involved with Buffy and his baby wasn't going to get off that quickly, however.

"You Ana?" he snapped.

She nodded calmly, not looking even the slightest bit surprised at who had turned up on her doorstep.

"Got a few questions for you here, love, and I'm not gonna leave you alone until I get 'em answered. Now I don't expect you to welcome me in with open arms but believe me I'll..."

"Come in, Spike," she interrupted, pushing the door open further and smiling at the vampire. Well, this wasn't exactly the reaction he'd expected. He remained rooted to the spot as he tried to fathom who this woman might be and how she knew who he was. "How do you know my name?"

"Who hasn't heard of you?"

The vampire raised an eyebrow.

"You don't know who I am, do you?" she asked, now becoming a little concerned. "Buffy didn't..."

"No, she didn't. All I know is that your name and address came up in a conversation I was having with someone and now I want answers."

Spike decided now was the time to take advantage of the invite he'd been given, and barged past Ana. She now looked a little more on edge but allowed Spike to pass.

"So what exactly has Buffy told you?" she asked, wanting to be careful not to reveal anything Buffy didn't want to him to know.

"Not a whole lot. She's pregnant, it's mine and she wants me to have nothing to do with it."

Ana only nodded.

"I don't even know why the hell I'm here. Who are you and how do you know Buffy?"

"I'm..I'm her friend."

"You've gotta do better than that, sweetheart. Never heard Buffy talk about you. Besides, you obviously know a bit about me so I'm guessing you're one of Rupert's mates."

Ana was truly lost for words. Anything she revealed would compromise Buffy's trust in her.

"Well, since you're Buffy's 'dear old chum,' you won't mind if I have a look around then, will you?"

Before she could stop him, Spike had swaggered across the house and was poking his head round every door he could find. Vampires weren't exactly common knowledge these days so whoever Ana was, she obviously had some involvement with Buffy and therefore, something she wasn't telling him. It took him a couple of minutes before he found the door leading to the medical suite. It wasn't exactly hidden but it was more discreet than the others. Unsurprisingly, it was locked.

"No worries," he said, just before kicking the door down. Ana could only watch in horror as he stepped inside. She anxiously waited for his response.

"Oh, I see. You're the baby doctor then? I've got a feeling that Buffy isn't exactly able to afford anything as posh or as private as this which means that either she's won the lottery...or you're offering all this 'cause you want something from her."

It was all Ana could do not to run for the door as Spike menacingly made his way back across the front room toward her. The approach was predatory, as if he was the alpha male doing anything to protect his territory.

"British, knows about vampires, all prim and proper like? I'd say you work for the watcher's council. And we all know that something good's bound to happen when you wankers turn up, don't we?"

"Spike!"

The vampire looked up to see Buffy and Giles standing in the front doorway.

The slayer stepped forward. "Leave her alone."

"Why are you letting her anywhere near our kid? Thought you learnt your lesson about the wanker's council a long time ago, pet? They're bloody poison."

"They won't hurt us, Spike."

He couldn't believe how naive she was being.

"Has getting knocked up fried your brain cells too?"

Giles decided enough was enough and stepped in front of his slayer. "Get out now. If I ever find you here again, I won't hesitate to stake you."

"You can shut your mouth too, Giles. I bet it was you who got the council involved in the first place, wasn't it? You have to have control over everything Buffy does because you haven't got anything else in your pathetic life."

"Says the one who's done nothing but stalk her for the last two years."

"Yeah. And now she's having my baby so, whether you like it or not, Rupes, I'm a part of this now and not you or anyone else is gonna keep me away."

Buffy had to stop her watcher from lunging at the vamp.

"Stop it, both of you! I'm not doing this here. This is Ana's house, not a god damn arena."

"He started it," Spike quipped, childishly, knowing he was pushing his luck. Buffy stormed over to Spike and grabbed him by his neck before starting to drag him outside.

"Giles, go home. I need to talk to Spike."

Her watcher was livid. "You can't be serious?!"

Buffy wished that just once, no one would second guess her. "Go!"

His neck still in Buffy's grasp, Spike foolishly continued to taunt Giles. "That's it, watcher boy. Run along home and let the grown ups talk." He winced a little as the slayer's grip tightened. By the look on Giles' face as he left, Buffy knew he wasn't going to forgive her easily. Once they were alone outside, she released Spike and pushed him into a wall.

"Promise me you won't come back here."

"I'll be happy to if you give me some more answers, starting with what the hell 'Little Miss Stick Up Her Arse,' in there wants."

Buffy took a deep breath. Fuck it.

"What we have...what we, uh, made. It's not exactly normal, is it? It shouldn't really exist. That's why the council are interested."

Spike gawped at her a little. "Why are you taking about it like it's some sort of thing?"

The slayer looked to the floor.

"You think it is?!"

"How do you know it's not?"

"Because...it's just not, okay? I can feel it. It's not."

"The council have the resources to find out for sure."

Spike glared at her. "Not on my watch! I'm not lettin' those buggers anywhere near the sprog. You don't need 'em!" Just then, Spike noticed something sticking out of Buffy's pocket. A folded piece of paper with part of a black and white image poking over the top. "What's that?"

"Hmm?" She followed Spike's line of sight to her pocket. "Oh! That's, uh, nothing." She tried to push the paper deeper into her pocket but Spike's agile fingers quickly swiped it from her grasp.

"Give that back!" Her attempts at snatching the paper back failed miserably and she could only watch as Spike unfolded it.

There in front of him was a copy of an ultrasound, 'Summers, Buffy,' and the current date printed in the top left hand corner.

"Is this...?"

"Yeah," she answered. "My lime sized pain in the ass."

Buffy hadn't realised what she'd said until she noticed Spike staring at her as if she was mad.

"Ana said he was the size of a lime at the scan."

The most beautiful smile lit up the vampire's face. "So its a chap?

"Um, yeah. Very chap like," she responded, not entirely sure what his definition of a chap was. He noticed this. "I'm askin' if it's a boy."

The slayer suddenly felt a little stupid. "Yeah it is. Last time I checked anyway."

Spike continued to carefully study the image while Buffy impatiently waited for him to hand the scan back.

"Listen, Buffy, I don't want anything from you and I don't expect you to want anything to do with me. But please let me be a part of this kid's life."

She really didn't like where this conversation was going and started to walk off. "You can keep the scan."

He grasped her arm. "Don't run off before you've even heard what I have to say."

"Then get it over with. I've got to go."

She went rigid when she felt Spike's fingers slide down her arm to hold her hand.

"I get now that things between us...they'll never work the way I want them to and I kinda regret the way things did happen. But what we made together, I'll never regret that. God knows how it happened but at the end of the day, I don't care. This could be my only shot and I want you to let me be a father to my son for as long as I can."

Buffy did everything she could to hold back tears. Her guilt had multiplied enormously in the past minute. How could she take Spike's only child from him? But having him around all day, every day would only remind her of the guilt of refusing to be a mother.

"Why do you care so much?" she asked. "You've known about him for less than a day and you're willing to change everything for him."

"Excuse the sap, but he's the only good thing I've ever done. He'll change everything, yeah, but for the better. I know he'll make me better."

Buffy's self control was all but lost now and she broke down in tears. Spike touched her shoulder. "What's wrong, love?"

She buried her face in her hands as she attempted to stop bawling. "I need to go."

The vampire wanted to remind her to think about what he'd said but she was clearly upset and it felt wrong to push anything on her right now. He did, however, insist on walking her home.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, but you're not just responsible for you anymore."

"Spike, I..."

"Just do as you're bloody told for once, slayer."

* * *

The journey to Revello Drive was slow and quiet but eventually, they arrived back.

"Home sweet home," Spike mumbled. Buffy smiled, weakly.

"Promise me you'll stop by if you need anything. Money, someone to talk to. Whatever."

She didn't say anything.

"Right then. I'll see you around." He strolled off into the darkness but continued to lurk discreetly in the shadows until Buffy had made it indoors. He found himself staying put for a couple more minutes and waited for the inevitable switching on of Buffy's bedroom light. She always slunk off to a private space when she was in a mood like she was. He'd been thinking so much of himself today that it hadn't even occured to him to ask Buffy how she felt about impending motherhood. Was she okay with it? Was she scared? He suddenly really wanted to know. But for now, he was going to give her time. Besides, the more involved she let him be, the better chance he had of sussing out her true feelings about everything that had happened recently. He couldn't resist one last gesture, however...

Buffy had been reduced to an emotional mess after Spike's heartwarming words about how much he wanted to be a dad. She never thought she'd be so conflicted when having to choose between something she wanted and something Spike did. Her head was absolutely screaming at her to do what was best and hand over the child to the council as soon as it was born. No emotional connections, no problem, but her heart was beating so loudly that she could hardly hear her head. Spike wanted this more than she'd ever anticipated he would and it would undoubtedly destroy him if she took his son from him. God, why did she have to open her big mouth this morning? Why couldn't she have just taken his weight jibes in her stride and walked straight on past him? She picked up her comb and started to brush through her tangled locks. She hadn't combed it all day. She came across one particularly stubborn knot and yanked the comb through it violently in frustration causing it to clatter to the floor. Just her luck, it bounced under the bed. With a sigh, she dropped to her knees and felt around for it. Suddenly, a bang from the window scared her out of her skin. She immediately jumped up and a step or two back. Someone had lifted the window an inch or so and a piece of paper was now on the window sill. The slayer cautiously approached it, making sure whatever had done this was well and truly gone before she let her guard down. Eventually, she looked down at the blank paper. However, on picking it up, she realised it wasn't just a regular piece. It was photo paper. Turning it over, she was faced with her ultrasound scan again. Spike. And just when she thought everything couldn't get any harder...


	10. Crypt Comfort

A/N: One use of a possibly upsetting phrase.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Giles had left Buffy to herself for the remainder of the day. While she understood why he was mad at her for going off and dealing with Spike alone, she sure as hell wasn't going to apologize for it. It was her body, her baby, and her life. Spike was her... okay, so she still didn't know what Spike was exactly, other than a huge pain in her ass, but it didn't matter. She had every right to do what she wanted without having to explain herself. Willow clearly didn't support her anymore and Ana wasn't the greatest person to go to for emotional support. Against her better instincts, Buffy found herself wanting Spike's company. His soft words, his much needed promises of commitment. She put it all down to hormones but that didn't stop the fact that she wanted what she wanted. Dawn had become a little sick of the drama and was staying at Janice's this weekend and Anya had dragged Xander off on some sort of pre-wedding vacation/retreat so she wasn't in danger of stumbling across anyone who'd question why she was visiting Spike and get suspicious. Maybe she would take this opportunity.

As irritated as Giles was with her, she should've known that he wasn't prepared to let her wonder off again.

"Buffy, where are you going?" he called from the front room as she was about to leave.

She squeezed the door knob in her grasp. "Out."

"To see Spike?"

She paused. "Like its any of your business."

"I don't think it's a good idea getting Spike involved in this any more than he already is. Especially with what you're going to do after the child is born."

"Duly noted." She was halfway out the door when her watcher delivered his lowest blow yet. "I'll tell him that you're giving the child up."

"And why would you do that?"

Giles looked slightly sheepish. "The council have mutually agreed that it's best for you to halt all contact with him now that he's aware of your situation."

Buffy looked repulsed. Today had given her a lot of thinking time. "This isn't a 'situation' to him. This is his child that he's made clear he wants everything to do with. He won't give up trying and if you tell him exactly why Ana's involved, he'll stop at nothing to keep you from me. You know that."

Giles knew she was right. He'd just hoped that she wouldn't be able to call his bluff.

With no other cards to play, Giles reluctantly allowed Buffy to leave, without saying another word.

* * *

Spike was just emerging from a much needed period of sleep when he heard the familiar creek of his crypt's front door. Still half asleep, he pulled on his jeans and t-shirt and raced up the ladder, preparing to defend himself from whatever was lurking about his place. For the second time that week, Spike was surprised to find Buffy standing in his doorway.

"Everything okay? Didn't expect to see you back here so soon."

"Fine. I just..."

Spike silently urged her on with his eyes, suddenly very interested in what she had to say.

"I could just use some company."

The vampire outstretched his arm in the direction of the couch he'd obtained recently. "Sure. Make yourself at home."

She smiled gratefully and made her way down the steps. Considering he'd picked the couch up from god knows where, it was amazingly comfortable. She'd often thought so when they ended up not being able to make it to the bedroom. Those times had tested its comfort to the max.

Spike sat down on the arm chair opposite her. He seemed to study her for a few seconds.

"What's watcher boy gone and said now?"

As much as she wanted to be completely open and honest with the whole situation, Buffy knew that in this instance, it wouldn't do her any favours. She could safely hint at a couple of details though.

"He doesn't want me to see you. Let alone have you anywhere near the baby."

Spike took a breath to push down the anger that was re-emerging.

"Why are you here then? What Giles says goes, right?"

The slayer was infuriated that he'd said that. Did he genuinely think it?

"No! I let him bring the council into this and that's it. Everything else is my call."

The vampire lowered his eyes to her belly. "And what is your choice?"

"I don't know yet. I guess I came here to find out."

Spike moved around uncomfortably.

"I know now you want this...but can I trust you? I don't even know if you'll still want this when shit gets real!"

The vampire looked as if he'd been slapped in the face. "I get why you don't trust me with your friends. I get why you don't trust me with you. But this is different. This is an innocent, defenceless kid. My kid."

"Like all those thousands of children you slaughtered were."

He swallowed hard. "I've changed. Can't you see?" He jumped out of his seat and knelt down in front of her. "This is a baby we've made together, Buffy. How can you not trust me with him? I've never had the chance to be a dad and may not ever again. I wouldn't do ANYTHING to threaten this." He placed a hand on her still only slightly swollen belly, taking her by surprise. As awkward as she felt on the surface, she couldn't deny that her heart warmed, instantly at the intimate act.

"Think junior likes that too," Spike commented.

"Huh? Likes what?"

"The sprog. Think he liked me touching him."

Buffy suddenly felt very guilty. "H-how can you tell?"

"Vampire senses, love. Could feel him squirming around. Think I woke him though. Sorry, mate."

"Spike, it can't hear you, it's nothing more than a tiny, undeveloped squid thing right now."

"Alright, slayer, no need to act all defensive like," he snapped in annoyance. "Just try'na bond with him before you change your mind about wanting to be here, again." He suddenly wondered if he'd gone too far. That was the last thing on Buffy's mind, however. She had an idea why the baby reacted to the slightest touch or pressure. It was because she'd refused to touch him all these weeks. He was feeling unloved and making the most of any attention he could get. She looked very pale all of a sudden.

"You okay, pet?"

The words 'I'm fine' began to form on her lips but they never quite made it out. "I don't know if I can do this."

Spike wanted more than anything to wipe away the tears now dripping down her cheeks. "What do you mean?"

She'd opened up a whole new can of worms and knew it. "This. Being a mom, acting like I can juggle everything in my life as well as this baby. Everything was a mess even before and now I'm bringing a baby into my fucked up world?" It was nothing Buffy hadn't told herself before but talking about it with Spike was a different matter.

"Hey," he whispered as her head fell into her hands. "Where's this coming from? This morning you were all about wanting to do this yourself."

"I told you I didn't want you involved. I never said anything about wanting to do this."

Spike's face fell. "You're not gonna..."

"I wanted to. When I first found out, I wanted to."

"But you didn't," Spike confirmed, a sigh of relief shortly following. "That's gotta mean something."

The slayer peeked above her hands and really wished she hadn't said anything.

"I know how scary this is. Believe me, I'm feeling it too, but this'll change our lives."

"I'm the slayer. Change is what screwed up my life in the first place."

"You're not seeing that this is gonna give you the normal life you've always wanted. Slaying has to come second now and no one can argue otherwise."

Spike wasn't getting it.

"I want a chance to have a life, to catch up on what I've missed out on. A baby isn't going to let me do that. I'll be tied down for the next eighteen years. Probably even longer. I want to live, Spike."

"Who's saying you can't have a life with a kid in it? You got the scoobies, Dawn...you've got me. Tons of people around willing to help you out. 'Course you can have a life."

"It's not the same." The slayer tilted her face back down into her hands, prompting Spike to get up off his knees and take a seat on the other end of the couch.

"You wanna let the scoobies know you're alright? Bet they're worried if they know you're with me."

Buffy started to panic. Did Spike want her out? Had she said something to push him too far?

"No. I'm not going back. I came here to get away from them and I thought you'd understand that."

Spike opened his mouth to protest but Buffy didn't give him a chance as she stood up and continued to yell.

"So if you want me to go, I'll leave but I'm not going home because all I'm gonna get is shit about not making the choices that everybody else wants and -"

Spike joined Buffy on her feet and grasped her shaking shoulders. "You don't have to go anywhere or do anything you don't want to, love. The last thing I want you to do is go. I just don't fancy Rupert turnin' up here with a stake. I sort'a believed him when he said he'd dust me, earlier."

She didn't seem to be listening but he carried on regardless.

"Anyway, you can stay here for as long or as little as you want. No pressure to do anything. Sounds like no one else seems to get that."

He sat Buffy back down and pulled a blanket out from underneath a cushion before handing it to her. "Can appreciate it's a little cold in here even if I don't feel it myself. I'll be back in a bit."

Spike had her full attention now.

"Where are you going?"

"Thought I might pay the scoobies a visit, settle this once and for all."

"No, you don't have to. It's only gonna make things worse."

"Hey, I'll play nice if they do the same."

"Really, Spike, please don-"

"The last thing you need right now is anymore stress. I'm gonna sort this."

Buffy knew she wasn't going to win this one and watched him head out into the indirect sunlight, leaving her to stew in all that had happened in the last few minutes. In a way, she didn't regret being so open with Spike. He now had a realistic picture of how she was feeling and was the only one who really understood and sympathised. She was living in a dream, however, if she thought that he'd still be as supportive if he knew the full story. Deciding to make the most of the peace and quiet she had, Buffy dragged one of the pillows from the other side of the couch and set it down against the arm, to support her head. She pulled the blanket up over her and snuggled down into a comfortable position. The cotton gave off an aroma of smoke with a hint of spilt liquor, giving the illusion of Spike laying next to her. She'd forgotten how good he smelt. Buffy suddenly opened her eyes. That was strange. She'd never had a conscious thought of Spike's fragrance before. She didn't even remotely remember ever thinking that he had a nice smell. The slayer had underestimated the weirdness that pregnancy brought with it. This sudden interest in Spike's scent couldn't have been down to anything else, could it?

* * *

Spike carefully kept to the shade as he made his way up to Revello Drive. He was convinced that Giles would still be there waiting for Buffy and from what the mother of his child was saying, it sounded like her watcher wasn't the only one ganging up on her. After today, never again would he allow them to cause her as much distress as she presented earlier. It angered the deepest parts of him to see her like that and to know that it was the people who she considered family that were at fault. Especially now that she was pregnant and needed their support more than ever.

In no time at all, the vampire was banging the front door with his fist. It took longer than expected for someone to answer, but eventually the door opened. It was Willow. She looked surprised to see him. Probably because Buffy wasn't by his side.

"Spike? What are you doing here? Is Buffy okay?"

He nodded, showing little sympathy for her concerns. "She's restin' up at my place. You must'a really pissed her off if she came to me to get away from you lot."

The wicca didn't seem to be following him. "Has she said something?"

"I guess you could say that. I think me, you and Giles need to talk."

Speaking of the devil, the man appeared behind Willow out of nowhere. "I feel we said everything we needed to at Ana's, don't you think?"

Spike glared at him. "That's until I found out that you haven't exactly been supportive of Buffy recently. Did you know she was thinkin' of flushing the sprog?" He felt sick just thinking about it, but this wasn't the time for sugar coating things.

Willow looked to the floor but Giles kept confident eye contact with the vampire. "She has expressed her concerns about becoming a mother, yes."

"And I bet you didn't even attempt to try to get on her level and be supportive. Just told her what she could and couldn't do."

Willow looked hurt. "Is that what Buffy told you? Of course we tried but she's being...difficult."

"Difficult, how?"

Even Giles was looking a little lost for words now.

"What are you two goin' on about?"

"It doesn't matter," Willow insisted. "She just doesn't seem to want to listen to us when all we want to do is help her and the baby."

"If she's freaking out about coming back here then you're obviously not doin' something right."

The witch suddenly looked horrified. "She freaked out? W-we never wanted that."

"Not saying you did, but truth is she doesn't want to come back and as much as I think the crypt isn't the best place for her or the kid in the long term, I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to. What she does is up to her now."

Both Giles and Willow knew that if Spike was aware of Buffy's plans, he wouldn't be saying that. However, they both remained silent.

"If and when she does decide to come back here, I'm not gonna be happy if I here you're trying to dominate her every move again." The vampire was pretty sure his message had been understood, loud and clear and so started to strut back down the garden path.

As much as he hated to admit it, Giles secretly admired Spike's respect for his slayer's independence and feelings.

"Since when were you absolutely fine with Buffy making her own decisions, regardless of the consequences?"

Spike turned on the spot to look back at him.

"Since she became a mother. I know she's looking at her life from a whole different perspective now. I trust her like this."

Giles almost felt bad that Spike had gravely misplaced his faith in the slayer...

* * *

It didn't occur to Spike that Buffy might be asleep when he returned but despite his noisy entrance, the slayer continued to snooze softly. As she was sleeping in the main room of the crypt, there wasn't a lot he could that wouldn't disturb her. The TV would definitely wake her and he was even worried that pouring a drink would too. Eventually, the vampire took a seat on the armchair opposite her and found himself watching her sleep. She looked so beautiful when she was peaceful. Something about the fact that he knew she was carrying his currently dozing child made the scene even more perfect. He observed the rising and falling of her chest, the cute twitch of her nose when she was dreaming, the occasional shift of her body when she got uncomfortable. Before his slayer, he never thought someone could be so wonderful. She did it without even trying. In her sleep, in her fighting, in her loving. Even in her crying and her jealousy. Some part of whatever she did won him over every time. He hated her for it but it he always ended up forgiving Buffy not wanting him didn't matter anymore. This past day had made him realise that there were more important things at stake. NOTHING was going to happen to his family...


	11. Final Warnings

Buffy groaned as a hand on her shoulder gently shook her from her slumber.

"Buffy, love. Think it's time to wake up."

She suddenly remembered where she was and who she was with and pulled herself upright. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. Well, she had, but not so much that she couldn't hear when Spike got back. "How long have I been out?"

"A few hours. Didn't want to wake you, but it's getting dark soon. Wanted to make sure you were positive about not goin' back home."

The slayer felt a little torn. She wasn't all for returning to Revello Drive but neither did she feel comfortable staying under the same roof as Spike, unconscious and alone with no one to keep an eye on her, or him for that matter. The vampire instantly caught on to her hesitation.

"Still can't believe you don't trust me."

"Well, I'm sorry for not feeling comfortable with an overnight basis yet."

Spike purposely avoided eye contact with her.

"You've been out all afternoon and you're still alive, aren't you?"

She struggled to tear the blanket off herself and get up at the same time. "Spike, if you really want what you say you do, everything needs to happen on my terms. Don't expect me to do anything. My priority is protecting my friends and I can't have you in any part of my life if they're not safe."

"Part of his life," Spike corrected, glancing at her stomach.

"Right. The baby's. Whatever." She started to make her way towards the exit when Spike unexpectedly protested. Had he not listened to a word she'd just said?

"Can we at least talk a few things through? Feel like all we've done is argue back and forth about access up until this point."

Taking a breath and crossing her arms, Buffy seemed to consider this. "What do you wanna talk about?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe giving me a simple straight answer about whether you're gonna let me see my kid would be a start."

"I told you. Probably, if you can prove that you won't be a threat to us."

To her shock, Spike wrapped a hand around her arm, gripping it enough so that she couldn't pull away.

"I said simple. Do you WANT me to see him?"

To his fury, the crypt door suddenly swung open and they were interrupted. In walked Giles.

"Well, I'm glad to see you aren't beating the living daylights out of each other yet."

He then noticed their compromising closeness. "To be perfectly honest, I think I'd prefer that."

Spike looked the watcher up and down, shaking his head. "You'd rather the slayer be fighting in her condition? That's real humane."

"Oh, just stop it!" Buffy yelled, ripping her arm from Spike's grip. "Do you need something Giles?"

He nodded. "As a matter of fact, I do. There's a situation that requires your immediate attention."

Staying with Spike now sounded like more of a tempting offer. Could she not get one day to herself?

"Can I not deal with it tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid not. It's rather urgent."

Buffy felt Spike's eyes on the back of her neck.

"Whatever you're dragging her off to sort out, you make sure she's safe. Don't think I need to remind you why."

"Hey," Buffy interrupted. "She, is still here you know. I can speak for myself."

Her watcher looked impatient.

"Goodbye, Spike."

* * *

"So, what's this all about?" Buffy asked as Giles quickly lead her across the graveyard. He didn't answer immediately, waiting for when they were definitely out of earshot of Spike.

"You have to stop visiting Spike."

She sighed again. "Seriously? Is this the big emergency?"

"Buffy, this is serious. I went by Ana's today as I never really got to ask her about your scan results. What I saw wasn't good."

He had his slayer's attention now.

"Philip was there. He was one of the watchers that arrived with Travers last year. He seemed to be yelling at Ana and she looked rather terrified. I'm worried that..."

"Worried about what? Giles?"

He hesitated as he tried to think of the least panic-inducing way he could break the news. "I'm worried that the council may have discovered how much Spike knows."

She didn't understand. If the council were angry with anyone, it should've been herself.

"Ana had nothing to do with Spike finding out. It was all me."

"Yes, but in their eyes, Ana let it happen. Not only is she meant to be your obstetrician, but she's also responsible for ensuring things run...smoothly. The way the council want them to be."

Buffy wrapped an arm around her middle. "What's this got to do with staying away from Spike?"

"Don't you see? If they're aware of your ongoing meetings with him, I honestly fear what they'll do."

The slayer gulped. Spike had a heads up about Travers being after him, but if it really came down to it, could he protect himself?

"Then we need to let Spike know, give him a chance."

"Buffy, I'm not talking about Spike. I'm worried what they'll do to you."

The last thing Buffy needed was paranoia and Giles had just handed her a whole plate of it.

"They won't hurt me. They can't. Not while I'm growing their precious miracle baby."

"If they feel it's necessary, they'll take you back to England for the remainder of your pregnancy, possibly even longer. They will hold you there with or without your consent. Anything will be done to ensure the healthy delivery of this child."

Buffy backed away and leant against a tombstone. "I think I'm starting to regret ever letting them in on this."

"I know this a shock, but it's a truth you will have to prepare yourself for if you don't cut Spike out of the picture now." He followed her to the tombstone and placed a caring hand on her shoulder. "We may not have seen eye to eye on everything in this instance, but please believe that I only want to protect you. If you continue behaving this irrationally, I won't be able to."

Without meaning to, Buffy let her mind wander to how Spike would feel if she stopped contact, rather than her own situation. She knew now to the extent of how broken he would be.

"It would destroy Spike."

"If you were taken to Europe, he wouldn't see the child anyway. Please, Buffy. This is your only option."

She knew he was right. If the council were angry enough, there was a possibility that they wouldn't even let her go. The slayer threw one last glance in the crypt's direction before allowing herself to be led home...

* * *

Now that the air had been almost cleared with Giles, and Willow had groveled for forgiveness, being home again felt a lot nicer.

"And are you okay with it?" Giles asked his slayer. "Don't be afraid to speak up if there is anything about your meeting bothering you."

Buffy had decided that she owed her watcher an explanation to the scan he'd never found out about, and she'd just finished spelling out the details.

She nodded. "It was weird at first, seeing him, putting a face to him. But...I wouldn't say it's bothering me. Not more than usual, anyway."

Giles looked at her as if he was expecting her to say something else. "Has it done anything to change how you feel?"

She shook her head, looking to the floor as she did so. "No. Sorry. You'll be pleased to know I'm still handing him over."

"Pleased is hardly the word I'd use."

"Uh..then what is?" she asked, a little confused with his apparent change of heart. "You want me to give the baby away just as much as they do."

Giles removed his glasses, but not as quickly as he usually did. "I think it would be a wise decision, yes, as we don't know what it is or how it's here, let alone what it could do."

Right. He'd made it clear what he wanted for it, so why had he hesitated?

"What's the problem then?"

"Well...I'm the last person to ask about prenatal testing and scans, but I'm becoming less and less convinced that this baby is a danger. Everything seems normal."

He was telling her this only now? After she'd promised her first born to the psychotic Brits who were threatening to kidnap her and hold her hostage if she didn't? This was just fabulous.

"But he could be, right? We don't know. He could just look normal on the scans?"

Giles could tell that she was frantically trying to convince herself that something was wrong to help justify her decision. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. He'd only helped drill the thought deeper into her mind.

"It's possible, but you need to remember that we know as much as you about this."

Buffy stared at her now knotted fingers for a while. "If I'm not allowed to see Spike, I need you to go and see him for me."

To her surprise, he didn't protest.

"I need you to keep as close to the truth as possible. Tell him that Travers won't let me see him in my...condition. If he asks why, explain that you're not at liberty to say or something like that."

Her watcher looked satisfied with both her chosen explanation and, therefore, her general choice.

"But tell him that I haven't given up on him either. Remember that, Giles. It's important that you tell him I'm not giving up..."


	12. Over Halfway

"Buffy! Are you coming?" Dawn yelled from the foot of the stairs. "Anya says she needs you at the magic box today."

The slayer heaved herself off of her bed. This was typical. Anya hadn't asked for or even about her for months and the time she did was when she was six months pregnant and meant to be conserving her energy for bridesmaid duty next week. Dawn looked as if she'd been waiting for hours when Buffy reached the landing. Cheeky cow. She wouldn't be so full of attitude the day she truly felt like she was carrying a bowling ball up her shirt, twenty four seven.

"Well, finally. Everyone else is gonna be there already."

Buffy suddenly looked petrified. "Why everyone? Don't tell me there's an impending apocalypse because that would just complete my year."

"No apocalypse. Just a pre wedding get together Anya and Xander have organised. But I get why you'd compare the two."

The slayer smiled, reluctantly making the decision to make her way down the stairs and brave it into the world of last minute wedding prep. Dawn noticed her anxiety and slipped an arm through her's. "At least try. You don't have to stay."

"Oh, I know I don't have to."

* * *

As per usual, Buffy was greeted with happy, smiley faces and with the clearly forced 'how are you's.' She'd learnt not to let them get to her around the time she'd learnt to identify her friends' 'poor little pregnant girl' attitudes.

They all thought that she still wasn't handling it and could crack at any moment, but, man, would she prove them wrong. She was constantly hungry, tired and exceptionally hormonal but the mood swings were definitely not down to the knowledge of being pregnant. Three months had been enough to adjust.

While Willow and Tara, and Anya and Giles went back to their respective jobs of reading and selling, Dawn and Buffy wandered over to the back of the shop where Xander was sat on a couch, barely thumbing through a copy of 'Demons: Illustrated.' He smiled when he noticed the slayer coming his way and immediately made space for her. Maybe Buffy was overreacting when she said that everyone looked at her with pity. Xander had never once looked at or treated her differently because of the baby, but she had a constant niggling feeling that if he knew the whole truth...

Ignoring the thought, she slumped down next to him and nodded at Dawn, silently giving her permission to browse the bookshelf. She'd seemed more determined than ever to join in research, recently.

"So, how's it hangin', big momma?" Xander started. "Looking forward to being on your feet for the whoooole of next Thursday?"

The slayer jabbed him in the ribs for the nickname. "Yeah. You bet. I can't think of anything more fun than dressing to impress, being the size I am, and then showing judgemental guests their seats as they stare at me."

The carpenter dumped the heavy book, in his lap, to the side. "I'm letting you off the hook if you want, y'know. Anya will understand if you're not up to it."

"Nu-uh. I said I'd do this and nothing will stop me. This is your big day and I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Out of nowhere, Anya suddenly interrupted them and was now stood proudly in front of Buffy.

"I would like to know your current waist size if at all possible."

Xander's eyes widened and she pretended not to notice. He'd lectured her on politeness and sensitivity when asking for Buffy's dress size but she didn't see the point. If the slayer was going to insist on growing bigger, she needed urgently to find out how big her new bridesmaid dress needed to be.

Buffy found her friend's comment too amusing to be offensive. "Erm. I'm not sure. I haven't exactly measured myself recently."

Straight to the point as always, Anya continued. "Well, would you mind coming into the back room so I can find out? It's essential we get your new dress sorted out immediately."

Her fiancé opened his mouth to speak but Buffy shushed him, complying to Anya's wishes and getting to her feet. As they made their way behind the counter, Giles stopped counting stock and caught her arm, much to Anya's annoyance.

"Are you able to come down to the cellar after you're finished? There's been a new development on that case we were discussing."

'New case' aka 'baby/council related matters.' The slayer both looked forward to and dreaded these meetings. She nodded before allowing herself to be dragged the rest of the way to the back room by Anya.

* * *

Buffy was left a little anxious as she gave the ex-vengeance demon complete access to her measurements because she still had no idea what she might be wearing. She hadn't really seen it as much of a problem before, but she'd made the mistake of underestimating her bump size. God help her if she was made to wear some tight, skinny number. Pushing all worries to the side for the moment, the slayer headed down to meet Giles in the stock room, just as he'd instructed. The once normal enough stairs were now a steep, slippery death trap, as she struggled to keep her balance at the best of times. Her watcher was polishing his glasses furiously, indicating that something was getting him worked up. She prayed that he didn't have bad news. "So what's up?"

Without saying anything, he stepped aside to reveal a chirpy looking Spike leant against the wall. She could see that he was trying to keep his grin under control as his wide eyes studied every inch of her. In fairness, it had been just under a month since their last meeting.

"Hi," he started.

"Hey." All of a sudden, their previously still child started excitedly wriggling around. Yup, he'd really missed his dad.

Giles let his gaze flicker between the pair before appreciating their right to privacy. "Don't be too long. I'll barely be able to convince the others that you're stock counting."

The slayer mouthed 'thank you' to him as he passed her and made his way back up to ground level. After the sound of the door clicking shut, they both visibly relaxed.

"How did you get down here?" she asked, clearly surprised.

"Basement's directly above the sewer."

Now that was out of the way, Buffy thought she best start off with an apology.

"I'm sorry it's been so long. The council have been on my back a lot recently and I've barely been able to get away."

"S'okay. I'm grateful for what we can get."

Buffy had barely believed it when Giles had agreed to help organise secret meetings between her and Spike. No one could know about them, but at the same time, they couldn't look suspicious. It was becoming increasingly difficult to schedule them, especially as Buffy never knew when they were going to happen. It was safer that way.

Her feet being swollen and sore, Buffy took a seat on the largest step and patted the other end of it, gesturing for Spike to sit too.

"So, 'how have you been' seems like the most obvious thing to ask."

She nodded confidently. "Things are good. Apart from the light sensitivity headaches and the stretch marks and the giant bowling ball on my bladder that won't seem to budge. Ever."

Spike let out a muffled laugh. "But seriously though. Everything's okay?"

"Yeah." Apart from the fact that she'd still neglected to tell him that their child was being handed over to the council in about three months.

"Good."

They sat there for a little while, Buffy sensing that he kept putting off telling her something. Eventually, he got around to it. "As we're gettin' closer and closer to the date, was wondering if there's anything you or the kid need. You haven't let me pay a cent towards anything yet."

"That's because it's all sorted. You'd be surprised at how efficient Willow is with organising everything," she lied. Ah. Now she'd have to tell a reluctant Willow to lie to Spike if he ever came asking about baby stuff.

"And where are you getting the cash from?"

The slayer smiled, awkwardly. Think, Buffy, think! "Turns out my mom had another account we didn't know about. It helped pay for a few things. Giles leant a hand too."

Spike didn't look convinced, but wasn't prepared to spend the little time he had with his family arguing.

"Just please, for gods sake, don't be too bloody proud to come to me if you need help."

The slayer looked him in the eye and gave a genuine nod. "Everything's under control."

Spike played with the ring on his index finger. He'd been wanting this meeting so badly for weeks and now that it was here, he had no idea what to say. Buffy ended up breaking the silence. "Are you coming to the wedding next week?"

The vampire looked offended. Him? At a wedding?

"I wouldn't have said anything, but...it might be our last chance to meet before the birth."

He shook his head. "You said yourself, it's not safe to meet out in the open with the wanker's council keepin' tabs on you. Besides, there's still a few months before you're due. Unless you're planning on havin' the kid sooner?"

She didn't look the slightest bit impressed. He obviously wasn't aware that having a baby before thirty seven weeks was more common than he thought.

"I've got more appointments than I can count in the next few weeks and the council are not gonna be letting me out of their sight then. Anya and Xander's wedding is the last place they'll look for you."

"Of course I want to. You know I'm up for any opportunity. Just not sure this is the right one."

Buffy was determined to convince him. "If it makes you feel any better, I can get you onto the guest list to make it look less suspicious?"

"Doesn't really, but I can't afford to say no, can I?"

She smiled. "So, you'll be there?"

"Guess so. But if I catch so much as a glimpse of one of those toffee-nosed bastards, I'm outta there. Not giving them an excuse to tighten their grip on you even more."

Much to the pair's disappointment, Giles knocked from the other side of the shop level door, the usual signal he gave to them when he couldn't distract the others any longer.

"That time again, huh?" she sighed.

"Looks like it." He turned to leave and was pulling open the grate to the sewer when Buffy called out to him again. "You promise you won't stand me up?"

He didn't say anything, but smiled at her, in a way that instantly eradicated her worries, before jumping down and disappearing from sight. Despite everyone's warnings about heavy lifting, the slayer went ahead and shifted the grate back to it's original position, slumping down on a stool afterwards. She hated becoming so exhausted so quickly, probably because she wasn't used to it. Less used to it than most humans with just average strength, specifically. Realising that he'd somehow left in the last few minutes, the baby threw what Buffy could only describe as a tantrum. He squirmed and kicked, silently demanding his mum get him back. She wasn't, however, prepared to let him make her feel bad. She'd gotten a meeting with Spike, what else did he want? They couldn't be together all the time. She swatted her stomach lightly in a vain attempt to get him to stop. "You can kick and scream all you want, but you're gonna have to wait until next week."

He seemed to inflict one last solitary kick, as a sign of not forgiving her, before leaving it at that. His sudden 'silence' sort of made her sympathise.

"I know you miss him. Between you and me, some days I do too." She realised what she was saying. "Just because he's the only person I can really stand to be around. Everyone else annoys me at one point or another. But then I come to my senses again."

Feeling that he'd given Buffy and Spike plenty of time to say their goodbyes, Giles entered. "Buffy, we need to go."

She looked up, secretly glad at the intrusion that had taken her from her thoughts. "I know..."


	13. Last Night Of Freedom

Oh, joy. Anya had decided to throw a bachelorette party with now only two days until the wedding. Buffy had come up with every excuse she could think of to get out of it, but the bride-to-be had insisted she wanted everyone there, including her exhausted, heavily pregnant head bridesmaid. She wanted everything big, extravagant and equally as enjoyable as the actual wedding day, and the most annoying part of it was that no one but Anya knew where they were actually going. The slayer envied Xander's party. They were just having a few quiet drinks at his place. She was currently in her room, begrudgingly shoving overnight items into a bag, sick of Anya's complaints about her not being ready in time.

A sudden knock at the door and a call of her name caused Buffy to jump out of her skin. Who could blame her for being so jumpy at this sort of time? Of course, it was only Giles. He was almost freaking living under her roof at the moment.

"Everything okay?" she asked him. "I'm just a little busy right now. Anya will have my head if I'm not packed in a half hour."

"No, I won't be long. I just wish to discuss something with you before you leave."

She threw the last couple of items she needed onto the bed before taking a seat on the edge of it.

"I've been thinking about the ongoing situation with you and Spike, and I'm not sure how long we can continue what we're doing."

Okay. What specifically about her and Spike? "Not sure I get you."

Giles sighed, already sensing that this wasn't going well. "You're due in less than twelve weeks. That will fly by, so I think it's time to break the news to Spike."

Buffy immediately got back up and continued packing her bag. "I will. Let's just get the wedding out of the way first. One thing at a time, right?"

"Buffy, why am I getting the impression that you don't want to tell him?"

"Can you blame me? He's not exactly gonna take it lightly that he's never going to see his son." Simply saying it aloud made Buffy's stomach squirm. But anyway, she couldn't get out of it. Not that she wanted to. Her decision about becoming a mother hadn't changed, even if her views about the baby had a little. It was common knowledge now that the boy inside her was less than dangerous. It wasn't just her that thought that.

Giles didn't look sympathetic. "It's something that you knew was inevitable the moment you told him the truth."

Buffy knew that the word 'truth' was being thrown around way too often. There was nothing honest or good about the situation. Everywhere she turned, she felt surrounded by negativity and betrayal. Admittedly, a giant portion of that was down to her and her choices, but she couldn't help but feel that it was taking over her every waking thought. Even when she was sleeping, she never felt truly rested. She refused to believe her heart every time it screamed 'guilt!' at her.

"I know," she reaffirmed, letting her mind wander back to the conversation at hand. "Spike's looking forward to seeing us at the wedding. Can we at least let him have that?"

She could see in her watcher's eyes that he was thinking the exact same thing as her. The longer they left this, even if for only a day more, the harder this was going to be for Spike. Buffy wouldn't have gone as far as to say that Giles cared about Spike, but the idea of taking his son away was clearly distressing him. These past few months had given him a new insight into Spike's ability to love, that he never knew existed.

Giles nodded before pulling a tube of pre-natal vitamins out of his jacket pocket. The obedient watcher side to him was re-emerging again.

"You're possibly running out of these, I believe and the council have requested that you don't miss a dose."

"Sure," she responded, willing yet cold, as she took them and slipped them into the side-pouch of her bag. A sudden chorus of laughter from the room below prompted Giles to wish her an eventful evening with Anya and the others, before leaving her in already too familiar post-disagreement silence. God, she wanted a drink. Six months was a long time to go without one.

* * *

Buffy made her way downstairs to join the others in the next few minutes. Anya was thrilled to see her bag packed and jumped up to usher everyone outside. The slayer wasn't happy to see Dawn being led in the same direction.

"Erm, where do you think you're going?" she asked her. Her sister shrugged.

"To the bachelorette party? It's okay 'cause I'm under adult supervision. Anya said so."

Buffy glared at the smiley ex-vengeance demon. "I was under the impression Giles was looking after you. You're too young for this sort of thing."

The youngest Summers' excited expression immediately melted into an irritated scowl. "I'm not a kid. I've probably been through more than most kids in the last couple of years and I don't need you to protect me. I want to go."

"C'mon, Buffy," Anya reassured. "It'll be fun."

Catching on to Anya, Willow and Tara's slightly disapproving faces, Buffy gave in. She didn't have the strength to argue. Dawn was the first one to exit, followed by Anya.

Buffy leant over slightly to pick up the bag she'd placed down earlier, when she placed a supportive hand on her bulging stomach, wincing as she did so. A concerned Willow and Tara instantly came to her aid, getting her to sit for a moment.

"I'm okay. He does this all the time." The little fidget did like to kick, she'd give him that.

"Are y-you sure?" the blonde witch asked. Buffy nodded before getting to her feet again. The sooner this night was over, the sooner she could get some sleep.

* * *

Only four hours into the evening, Buffy was wishing she was fighting off an apocalypse instead. The trouble began when Anya got into a massive fight with a security guard outside a male strip club over Dawn's age. To everyone, but Anya's, relief, the group was turned away. The slayer didn't even want to think about what she would've witnessed in there. They instead spent a majority of their time in a hotel function room that Anya had booked. To be honest, it was more like a large hotel bedroom, but with a small bar and a huge sound system. Everyone seemed to enjoy the idea of a night in much more. The slayer joined in a little, socialised and took part in a few rounds of Consequences, a stupid game that Buffy wasn't sure was suitable for her little sister's ears, but for most of the evening, she just took the quiet spot on the sofa and tried to wind down. Eventually though, Anya grew tired of her moping and brought her back over to the party for a game of truth or dare. She was sure the bride-to-be had ulterior motives, or she wouldn't have suggested such a childish game.

"Okay, I'll go first, "Anya insisted. "Buffy. Truth or dare?"

She sighed. Well, if anyone hadn't noticed, she was in no fit state to be getting up and doing dares, so a truth it was. "I guess I'll go with truth."

Anya looked positively delighted, putting the slayer on edge. Oh shit. Should she have gone for a dare?

"Who's the dad?"

Willow immediately looked to Buffy, her eyes lighting up in concern, but Tara was the one who ended up saying something. "Anya, that's kinda forward, don't you think?"

She shrugged. "No. I don't think so. As we're going to constantly be around a screaming, unhygienic baby in a few months, I think we deserve to know the name of the little toerag who's refusing to pay maintenance. You could take him to court for a lot of money y'know, Buffy."

The expectant mother took a deep breath and held her ground. "He...he doesn't know. I never told him because I didn't want his help."

Anya looked genuinely shocked. "You mean you don't even want a cent from this guy? Children are very hard work and expensive to keep. This is from someone who's lived for over a millennia."

Buffy knotted her fingers tightly. "Please, there has got to be more exciting things to talk about."

"Erm, not really. No one even knew you were having a thing with anyone until you got pregnant. That was big news. So, the dad?"

"All you need to know is that he's out of the picture and he's not coming back into it. End of conversation." With that, Buffy got up and walked towards the bathroom, sneakily snatching up a bottle of Jack on her way. She shut the door behind her and had just started pouring a shot into a glass she'd found when Wilow barged in, quickly confiscating the alcohol from her. Obviously she wasn't as stealthy as she hoped she'd been.

"Seriously?" the witch reprimanded her.

"I would say sorry, but y'know what? I'm really not, right now."

Willow slammed the bottle down on the sink counter harder than she'd meant to. "I know Anya's being super personal right now, but you can't go putting your baby's life in danger every time someone brings up something you don't want to hear."

"Things wouldn't be half as stressful if I was tucked up in my own bed right now. What was I thinking? I'm barely coping with preparing for tomorrow, let alone tagging along at a bachelorette party!"

Willow sighed. "Then I'm taking you home. You wait here, try to relax and I'll call a cab."

Finally. This was the best news she'd heard all evening. Her friend went back to the party, taking the bottle of whiskey with her. Buffy slumped down on the bathroom mat, her unborn child causing yet another, slightly more painful twinge, shortly after. It seemed the boy had a fair understanding of stress, too. That must've been what all his fuss was down to. This week needed to be over...


	14. What's A Wedding Without Drama?

I am soooo sorry for the gap between updates. Motivation has been a pain to gather. Here's a quick refresher of the last chapter...

PREVIOUSLY: Giles pressures Buffy into telling Spike the truth about the baby being handed over to the council shortly after it's birth, but the slayer is convinced that it's best to wait until after Xander and Anya's wedding. Anya's hen party starts off as a calm, quiet night, after a malfunction in the bride's original strip club plans, but soon becomes heated when she starts quizzing Buffy on the paternity of her son. As a result, Willow has to calm her friend down and escort her home. Meanwhile, Buffy is starting to experience especially violent 'kicks' from the baby.

* * *

Buffy stared at her horrific reflection in the mirror of her bedroom. Seeing the disgusting radioactive green bridesmaid dress had only been the beginning. Once trying it on, the slayer felt even more humiliated. The gown had been sized appropriately, to accommodate her current condition, but Anya had obviously not taken her maid of honor's feelings into account. The skin-tight outfit made her look like a fucking elephant! As if the slayer wasn't worried enough about people staring at her.

"You okay in there?" Willow called from outside her friend's bedroom.

"Define okay."

The witch took that as her cue to intervene. Buffy stood in a hunched position, arms desperately trying to cover her baby bump, and on the verge of tears. At least the dress looked remotely flattering on Willow.

"Buffy, you look..."

"Disgusting?"

Willow's eyes widened in shock. "No! You look...perfect. Nothing's disgusting about the way you look."

Willow did seem to truly be under the illusion that she looked somewhat 'beautiful' being the size she was. How? Buffy guessed it was more to do with her bringing forth new life than her actual physical appearance, but she was still struggling to see any beauty even from Willow's point of view. She turned one hundred and eighty degrees, so that her profile was now the reflection in the mirror; her hands brushing down the front of her dress. She was more than aware that it would change absolutely nothing, but it didn't stop her from doing it. She didn't realise how close to tears she was until her friend pulled her into a comforting hug.

"Don't worry about it. If you don't want to be noticed, you don't have to be. All eyes will be on the bride anyway."

The slayer smiled gratefully and pulled herself away from the mirror before she ended up working herself into an even worse anxious state.

"You ready to go?"

"As I'll ever be."

Gathering the courage to step out of the car and onto the venue steps was the hardest experience of Buffy's life. Since when had she cared what people thought about her appearance? Truthfully, she'd never been concerned as she'd never had any major insecurities about her physicality. Carrying around a huge, bulky baby bump was definitely a present insecurity now.

Thankfully, the lobby was so crowded with guests chatting away that no one but Dawn noticed her arrival. As expected, her sister was wearing an identical dress that, just like Willow, she pulled off spectacularly considering the colour scheme.

"Hey!" she squeaked, excitedly. "Anya's almost ready, so we just need to get everyone sat down. Oh, and could you go and see Xander? I think he needs a pep talk."

Buffy looked concerned. "What's happened?"

Dawn leant in closer, making sure her following words were for her sister's ears only. "He had some pre-wedding jitters. I talked to him and think he's okay now, but maybe if you reassure him too, y'know."

The slayer hesitated for a moment, not sure she was qualified to be giving anyone else advice after her own recent string of choices, but nodded. Her friend needed her and she promised that she wouldn't let him down today.

Eventually, after much asking around, Buffy was confident she now knew the way to Anya's dressing room. For the millionth time that morning, she lifted her long skirt out from underneath her totally unnecessary stilettos and looked back up again to see Spike leant against a pillar. The words 'where the heck did you come from?' formed on her lips, but then she remembered. Vampire. Sneaky. They stared at each for a few seconds before he broke the silence.

"You look bloody terrified."

She sighed. Finally, someone who got it. "You think?"

He smiled. "But seriously, love, you sure you're up for today? You don't look completely with it."

"I think you're sensing the three hours of sleep I got last night. My nerves were enough to keep me awake without being fought from the inside out every two hours.

A confused expression crept on to Spike's face, but only for a matter of seconds. The vampire knew he shouldn't have really smirked then. It was just too sweet. "He's gonna be a troublesome one."

Buffy looked to the floor. "Uh, huh. For the last day or so, he's been really twitchy. I can't help but think..."

"Think what?"

She bit her lip before shaking her head. No. It was ridiculous. "Doesn't matter. It's nothing. Anyway, I've got to go and see Xander. Apparently he's freaking out a bit." Buffy realised as soon as she closed her mouth that Xander wouldn't have appreciated her telling his arch-nemesis that.

As if to confirm her theory, a smug pout appeared on Spike's face. He was clearly pleased with what he'd learnt. "Well, tell him I said to step up and grow a pair."

"Great, I'm sure that's gonna make him feel so much better," she muttered, sarcastically. "I'll catch you later at the reception and please, don't go causing trouble. This is Anya and Xander's day."

Spike seemed to accept this and agreed, but not without shooting a mischievous half smirk to wind her up.

"I'll catch up with you later at the reception. Can't see that I'm gonna have any time before."

"No problem." He was clearly disappointed that their current conversation was being cut so short, but as long as there was a later, he was satisfied.

Buffy found Xander pacing, his body tense and a deep frown on his face. He was usually so good at keeping calm and not letting the pressure get to him, so it was unnerving to see him looking so scared. He barely noticed her presence until she spoke up.

"Hey. What'cha doing? You've gotta be out there soon."

"Yeah. I know. Just need a few more minutes," he explained, folding his arms as he continued to walk the length of the room repeatedly. The slayer considered her next words carefully. "Dawn told me she came to see you. Is everything okay?"

He gave her a half-nod, half-shake of his head. "Am I doing the right thing, Buffy? Marrying Anya?"

She was taken aback. Dawn hadn't let on it was this bad.

"Don't you love her?"

"Of course I do! More than anything. I just can't help but feel that everything's moving too quickly. Getting married is a big deal. Maybe too big, right now."

Buffy smiled sympathetically, walking up to him and grabbing his hand in both an attempt to reassure him and stop him for pacing.

"I get it. I do. This is a big step and you're scared. But you and Anya love each other, anyone can see that. This is gonna be the perfect day. As soon as you set eyes on her, you'll see. Everything will be fine."

She didn't realise how caught up she'd become in her own pep talk.

"We're still talking about me and Anya, right?"

A sudden knock on the door interrupted them. Buffy was more than thankful.

"I think it's time. Anya's not gonna be happy if you're late."

Xander still didn't look completely settled, but at least a little more confident. He nodded, but only moved when his friend nudged him.

"Go, Xander. I'm right behind you."

Buffy carefully sat down in the front row of the hall after delivering Anya to the altar and her husband-to-be. Selfishly, she thought about how relieved SHE was that Xander had been talked round so easily. Of course she was over the moon for the soon to be newlyweds that they had managed to put aside their nerves, but Buffy wasn't sure if she could've taken anything going wrong today. Ten minutes ago, she was sure that she could physically feel the final nail being hammered into her coffin of anxiety. She wouldn't have been surprised if that was just the baby pushing around, though. She slid a discreet hand under her bump as the uncomfortable sensations threatened to alert attention. Grinning and bearing it, she shifted into a more comfortable position and looked back up at the couple, who were now reciting their vows. The smiles on their faces were of pure bliss and the slayer found herself growing envious of them. It had been over a year since Riley had left and as much as she didn't miss him, she'd found herself missing being in love and all the things that came with it, arguments included.

When it was Xander's turn to recite his vows, his smile became a neutral expression, but his eyes told the whole story of how he was feeling. It reminded a small part of Buffy of how Spike looked at her sometimes. She couldn't help quickly looking over her shoulder for him. He was sat in the very back row, which was unoccupied aside from him. Clearly a little bored, he was flipping a cigarette carton open and shut repeatedly. She was surprised that he'd actually decided sit in for the ceremony. Maybe he'd taken her quip about not ruining the day for Xander and Anya a little too seriously. She turned back to face the front just in time for the hall to erupt in thunderous applause. The officiant was smiling, Willow and Tara were clapping excitedly and the newlyweds were locked in a passionate embrace. As the applause died down, the guests began to get up to congratulate Anya and Xander, causing a swarm at the front of the hall. Buffy squeezed through the crowd to get some air. She'd find her friends later. This was probably the perfect time to find Spike. She'd barely walked five steps when Dawn caught her arm. The girl was positively buzzing with excitement. "Come on, time for last minute reception inspection!"

The slayer couldn't think of an excuse quick enough before she was being pulled across to the other side of the building. Oh well. Being a bridesmaid came first today.

The day was slowly winding down as was the pressure of keeping everything perfect. Xander, Tara and Willow were amongst the few left dancing up on the floor while Anya was still over at the table of wedding gifts, having been there for a good twenty minutes already. She had no idea where Dawn was, and she was doubtful that her unborn son was going to leave her alone long enough to look for her sister.

"You okay?"

Buffy looked up to see that her discomfort had attracted the attention of a nearby guest.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Just don't think this party is for me." She heaved herself up. The last thing the slayer needed was more pity. Finding somewhere a little quieter and less crowded where attention was limited sounded like the ideal plan right now. Wrapping an arm around her middle, she walked off, intending to do just that. She finally thought she'd found a peaceful zone when out of nowhere, someone grasped her wrist and carefully pulled her aside into a small room. Buffy gasped and backed away, once inside, but her fright turned to annoyance when she saw who was trying to attract her attention.

"Jeez, Spike. You still know how to use the word 'hello' right?"

"Yeah, sorry. Wasn't sure you'd be able to hear me above that racket." He looked outside at the ongoing reception.

"So...you thought it would be a good idea to scare the hell out of the mother of your child?"

Spike tried to hide a smile at the phrase and Buffy immediately regretted using it. Stupid, stupid Buffy.

"Guess it wasn't the greatest idea. Sorry."

"Nevermind, I should be sorry for not finding you earlier. I know today wasn't exactly your idea of fun."

"I don't know," he admitted, pulling up a chair for Buffy and taking a seat on the edge of a desk. "Watching the whelp squirm and almost cock up his vows was mildly entertaining."

Buffy couldn't help but smirk.

"Anyway, enough about the love birds. I came here for you and the sprog."

The slayer shrugged. "There's not much to say except 'sleepless nights' right now."

The vampire raised an eyebrow. "You'll love the first year of motherhood then."

"Sure...yeah." She looked to the floor, her stomach tightening, physically as well as metaphorically. God, did this kid ever take a break?

"I was thinking, know it's a bit early still, but have you thought about what you wanna call him?"

She shook her head, fists tightening and teeth gritting. "No pressure or anything. Just might be a good idea, something to look forward to maybe."

There was a short silence.

"Sorry. Can tell I'm being too pushy."

"No, it's not that. I just..."

Spike looked at her with bright, pleading eyes.

"Never mind. It's not important"

Sighing, Spike got to his feet again. He wasn't angry, but was trying desperately not to let his frustration show. Any sort of conflict would only bring back up the walls he had been putting all his effort into pulling down.

"Saying that only makes me more sure that it is."

Despite his intentions, Buffy could feel their conversation escalating into an argument and stood up to leave. "Not today! I'm not doing any of this today. Fight me all you want tomorrow, but right now it's about Xander and Anya, and if you don't like that..." The slayer's train of thought was interrupted by the baby yet again. Except this time, that was no kick. Not even at his worst could he hurt her that much. She leant against a nearby wall until the pain had passed.

"What's goin' on?" Spike asked, taking small steps towards her.

"I...I don't know."

They stood in silence for several more seconds, trying to figure out what was happening and if it would occur again. As if to confirm their fears, it did, and Buffy let out a small yelp.

"You don't think..." she squeaked, looking up at him, fear glistening in her eyes. They both knew what was happening.

"Oh, you've got to be joking..."


	15. Premature

A/N: I can't apologise enough for my 5 week absence. I'd try to explain, but that would require a whole new chapter. I hope this satisfies your curiosities for now :)

Spike was trying his best to comfort a terrified Buffy while trying to keep calm himself. He'd imagined a million scenarios happening today, but this certainly wasn't one of them. "Uh... right. What do you want me to do?"

"I-I don't know. Just... give me a minute." She was desperately trying to breathe through the pain so that she could think straight. "Get Willow, no one else. I'm not ruining today for Anya and Xander."

Spike blinked in disbelief. "Love, I'm pretty sure they'll understand."

He placed a hand on her shoulder, but she immediately shrugged it off. "You want to help me? Go and get Willow!"

Spike sighed but did as she said. If he'd had his way, she'd be at a hospital that very second, or at least part of the way there. He weaved through clusters of oblivious partygoers, frantically searching for the witch. It took him a couple of minutes to find her, but luckily she was alone. The stunned redhead looked at him in alarm when he caught her arm, but the pure panic on his face calmed her initial fears about his intentions.

"Red, you need to come with me."

* * *

The duo found Buffy slouched on the floor when they returned. At some point, she had kicked her shoes off and ripped her hair out of the tightly fastened bun. Spike had explained to Willow what was happening during the short walk out of the main hall, so she instantly dropped to Buffy's level and began to comfort her. Spike was glued to the spot, feeling helpless and useless. He knew absolutely sod all about labour and it didn't help that his relationship with Buffy was still in rocky terrain.

"Spike, are you listening?" Buffy snapped. It seemed that the vamp had zoned out at some point.

"I need you to get me and Willow to Ana's. She'll know what to do."

Spike looked genuinely shocked at her decision. "What you need is a hospital. Does Ana even know how to deliver a kid?"

The slayer opened her mouth to speak, but another contraction, more painful than the last, tore across her abdomen. "I'm NOT having this baby today. Ana can stop this. I know she can."

Spike made the bold decision to join Willow next to Buffy. "I don't like this, pet. I'm taking you to a hospital."

He tried to help the distressed woman to her feet, but she burst into tears, suddenly begging him to take her to Ana. He'd never seen her look so pleadingly at him and she wouldn't have done so unless she truly felt she didn't have any other choice. The insult he muttered under his breath about how stubborn she was would usually have provoked a strong reaction from her. Not under these excruciatingly painful circumstances, however. Spike tried to help her up again, but she insisted that she could walk.

"You sure?" he asked.

Just as she nodded, she stumbled again and this time, Spike wasn't taking any chances. She needed to get out of here now. The slayer was in no position to protest when Spike delicately scooped her up into his arms, but she did anyway.

"No, no, I'm fine. Please."

"If you really think this council bird has got what it takes to stop junior in his tracks, then I'm getting you there as fast as I can."

As humiliating as it was, she allowed herself to be carried out into the corridor as discreetly as possible. The last thing she saw before wrapping her arms around and burying her face in his neck was Willow running past to open the door of the back entrance for them. She didn't want to open her eyes again until she had to.

* * *

Within minutes, the Desoto pulled up in front of Ana's house and the race against time to halt Buffy's labour truly began. The sunset had conveniently blocked the path during their journey, so Spike was stuck in the car as Willow escorted Buffy inside.

It was a good 15 minutes before the clouds cleared a less flammable path to the house. Luckily, the door was unlocked, but Willow must've heard him come in as she was waiting outside the medical centre when he approached it. Her face was extremely pale. Spike had never seen her look so nervous.

"How are they?" He went to push past her, but she deliberately stopped him.

"Now's not a great time. Buffy's okay, but Ana doesn't want you in there."

"I don't care what that bint wants, that's my family in there." He tried to shove past her more violently this time, but again, the witch resisted.

"No! This is hard enough for Buffy without having an audience."

Spike felt a twinge of guilt. He hadn't thought about that.

"Well, at least tell me what's going on!" he demanded, a little less fiercely, but still refusing to back down completely.

The combination of the vampire's deathly stare and close proximity was intimidating as hell, causing her to back up further against the door.

"Ana's trying to stop the baby coming early. I really can't tell what else is going on. She'll come and find you when there's news, okay?"

The vampire bit his lip, drawing blood. "I want to know the second something happens."

The Wicca nodded before carefully backing up and closing the door behind her.

Spike spent the first few minutes after, pacing the corridor before finally forcing himself to sit down. The walls were pretty soundproof, but every now and then he heard Buffy crying out in pain. Minutes could go by without him hearing anything but the echo of the silence hanging in the air. He couldn't tell if he found that good or bad. On rare occasions, he could even relax a little. Only ever a little, though.

* * *

A bit over an hour had gone by and still no one had delivered any news. What worried him even more was that he hadn't heard Buffy in a while either. It was impossible to tell whether that was good or bad without being in there with her and it was starting to drive him a little insane. Suddenly, Willow emerged, looking a little less pale this time round, but ten times more exhausted. He immediately jumped up to greet her.

"Everyone's okay." Her frozen expression of panic burst into a relieved smile as soon as she uttered the words. "Ana's managed to delay everything, but it doesn't look like the baby's gonna be long now."

Not long? That wasn't something Spike was expecting to hear. It had never crossed his mind that the baby could still be born early even after being delayed. "How long?"

"I, uh, I don't know. There hasn't really been much time to ask anything."

"Then I want to see Ana."

As if his mind was being read, the older woman joined them. She made sure to quietly close the door behind her.

"She's resting and I want to keep it that way. Willow, I think you should go and get Giles. Let him know what's happened. I need to speak with Spike."

As soon as he heard the front door close, Spike did everything he could to stop himself launching a thousand questions at Ana.

"I take it Willow has explained what's gone on."

"Don't think 'explained' is the right word. Red told me that you stopped the kid from coming early, but not for long. When will it happen?"

She shrugged. "She could go into labour again in a couple of days, or it could be a couple of weeks. Her waters thankfully didn't break, otherwise the birth would've been practically imminent."

The vampire didn't look as relieved as she'd hoped he would.

"Just know that I've done everything I can. It's up to nature what happens next."

"But are they safe? Whenever something decides to happen next, will he be okay?"

Ana noticed the change of pronoun in his last sentence, but decided it best not to mention anything. Right now, nothing but Buffy and the baby mattered. "As safe as any premature baby can be. Because of what's happened, there's going to be risk in one form or another. The earlier the child, the more risk there is, but I'm guessing you know that. If you're looking for a clear answer then I can't give you one."

He nodded. "I want to see her."

Ana cautiously placed a hand on his arm. "Now isn't good. She needs rest."

"Not asking for your permission, love. Thanks for what you've done for her, but you haven't got any authority over me."

"While she's in this condition, I think I'm the one who decides what's best for Buffy and you seeing her right now isn't."

Spike squared up to her, expecting the woman to move, but was surprised to watch her hold her ground.

"How long have you known Buffy? A few months? As much as she'll deny it, she hates being on her own. When she gets scared, she panics and I'm pretty sure you and your precious council don't want her panicking right now."

Ana glared at him. "She's asleep. Once she's awake you can see her, not before, and you're lucky I'm giving you that. I shouldn't even be letting you stay under this roof."

The vampire was genuinely stunned by Ana's boldness. From what he'd seen of her, she seemed like nothing more than a helpless council lackey.

After a few seconds, the anger faded from her face and the calm, collected persona she usually wore returned. Feeling confident that her message had been received and understood, she left, leaving Spike in stunned silence.

Ana periodically checked in on Buffy over the next hour or so, leaving Spike even more frustrated. He was itching to see her before Willow arrived back with Giles. The watcher would monopolize her the moment he walked through the door and then the vampire would have no chance of having a minute alone with her.

When Ana emerged from Buffy's room the next time round, Spike approached her.

"Listen, uh, Rupert isn't really gonna want me around when he gets here. Even if he doesn't say anything, I'm not going to get a chance to speak with Buffy. Just give me a few minutes with her now, that's all I'm asking for."

Anna's torn expression returned but, soon enough, it dissolved into one of frustrated acceptance. "Fine, but you need to go afterwards. I don't think you realise what they'll do if they find out I'm helping you."

Spike barely had time to consider who 'they' might be before the door was being opened and he was all but being pushed inside.

"Five minutes," she whispered, once they could easily be heard. "Don't make me regret this."

The next to silent clicking of the locking mechanism barely registered with Spike as he cautiously approached Buffy's bedside. She was curled on her right side, one arm flat on the bed and her left draped over her middle. Some sort of IV line was secured in that hand. To anyone else she may have looked convincing, but he knew she wasn't asleep. Not fully anyway. Whatever the case, she wasn't aware that anyone had joined her until Spike spoke softly.

Dazed and surprised, she instinctively threw out an arm to defend herself.

"Hey, it's only me. Take it easy."

"Spike?" she affirmed, confused by his presence. "What are you doing here?"

Blimey, she really was out of it. "I've been waiting outside since you got here. I drove you, remember?"

It took her a few seconds, but she seemed to recall the event. "Yeah, right. Sorry. Can't really think straight."

Spike shook off her apology, insisting that she hadn't done anything wrong, which in current circumstance was far from the truth.

"Are you in any pain?"

She shook her head absently. "Not really. I'm guessing one of the many needles I was poked with has something to do with that."

"Can I do anything?"

She smiled at him, both gratitude and pity suddenly overwhelming her.

"You can promise me that the real thing won't be as scary as today. That'd be great."

He opened his mouth as if to try and promise something along those lines, but she stopped him.

"Don't. I was only joking. I know now what to expect. Doesn't make it any less fucking terrifying, though."

She didn't even realise that she'd started crying until Spike brushed away a tear from her left cheek.

"I know. Try not to think about it right now."

His soft, soothing tone broke something in her, and she found herself crying harder than she'd allowed in months. She most definitely didn't want to, but once the tears had started, there was no way to stop them. Even as she buried her face in her hands and tried to shift away from any attention, Spike held her in an embrace so tight that she didn't think she could ever physically bring herself to leave. Man. Saying that the guilt sucked was the understatement of the century...


	16. Digging Holes

A/N: Such a short chapter after such a long gap, I know. We're getting to the build up now, so don't fret.

* * *

Just as Spike was beginning to feel closer to Buffy than he had done in months, a slamming noise outside shook them both out of the moment. Neither made any major movements, however, until they heard Giles' alarmed voice on the other side of the door. The slayer, who was wearing only a cami and a pair of sweats, suddenly slipped away from Spike, pulling the blanket Ana had brought her closer instead.

"I think maybe you should go," she suggested, her voice still hoarse from crying.

"You think I'm leaving you now?" His original plan to leave when Giles arrived was now completely unthinkable to him. He had just as much right as the watcher to be here. "No way. Rupert's just gonna have to deal with it."

Before she could get another word in, Giles entered. Ana and Willow could just about be seen behind him in the distance. The watcher looked Spike over, warily, before shifting his focus back to Buffy and making his way over to her bedside.

"How are you feeling?"

She looked at him in disbelief. Was he really asking her that?

"Not great. Listen, I appreciate you coming by, but I'm not exactly up for visitors right now. Could you come back in the morning?"

"Wait," Spike interrupted. "You're not going home?"

The slayer shook her head. "Ana knows what she's doing. I think it's best if I stay here until the baby comes."

Giles seemed relieved whereas Spike looked concerned.

"Right," Ana started, weaving her way through the newly formed crowd. "That's enough excitement for one day. Rupert, you can come back tomorrow."

She ushered him out, turning around to deal with a reluctant Spike afterwards.

"You too."

The vampire kept his hand close to Buffy's. "To be perfectly honest, love, I still don't trust you as far as I can throw you, so you must be off your bird if you think I'm just going to walk out on my kid."

The slayer couldn't decide whether she felt thankful for his devotion or smothered. She just didn't want another fight to break out. Giles suddenly stepped forward to defend his colleague, but luckily Buffy interrupted him. "Spike, it's okay. Ana will take care of us. Of him. We'll be fine."

As far as Spike was concerned, Ana had Buffy brainwashed into a false sense of security that she was surely going to destroy any day now. God knew what that would do to the slayer. Best case scenario, she'd maybe never allow herself trust someone in the same way again. He couldn't even bring himself to think about the worst.

"Have you forgotten how manipulative these gits can be?" he whispered as he perched on the edge of her bed. He tried to be empathetic, but at the same time firm. Buffy looked over at her friends. "Can we have a moment please?"

Ana expressed her concern at how long things had gone on already, but was immediately shot down by her patient.

"After everything that's happened today, am I not allowed to have just a few minutes?"

Determined to at least keep some of her authority, Ana agreed, but only if the pair kept it brief. Giles turned away, clearly unimpressed that Spike was still here and Willow followed the crowd obediently, suddenly feeling out of place and intrusive.

As soon as they obtained some privacy, Buffy felt like crying again. There was something about his presence that made her feel safe and comfortable doing so.

"Listen, I know you don't trust Ana, and why should you? But she's done everything she can to take care of me through all this."

He rolled his eyes. "You make it sound like a tragedy, love."

The slayer bit her lip. "Well, it hasn't exactly been easy. Or pleasant. In some circumstances, anyway," she quickly added.

An awkward silence followed.

"Put it down to hormones all you want, but I know Ana only wants the best for us." She picked up his hand and settled it over her rounded belly. It was a risky move and she knew it, but it felt like the right thing to do.

"I...I need you to trust me."

Spike sighed deeply before brushing his thumb over the curve of her stomach. "Okay." It took a lot for him to bury his deeply rooted fears and Buffy knew that. She suddenly felt sick again, a small part of her secretly hoping that he'd refuse and make her feel a little better about herself.

"Right," he began, "I'd better leave you in peace before I'm chased out of here with stakes. I'll call by tomorrow. Might want to leave the window unlocked if control freak baby doctor is still like this in the morning."

She nodded as she reclined back into a lying down position. "Got it."

His hand reached the door handle before he turned his head back to look at her. "Get some rest, yeah?"

"Who's the control freak now, huh?"

He rolled his shining sky-blue eyes for a final time before making his exit. Buffy swore she heard Ana breathe a sigh of relief from the other side of the door when he left.

As seconds turned into minutes of blissful peace and quiet, the slayer noticed the absence of a familiar annoyance. She hadn't felt the baby move since everything had kicked off at the wedding. She...she hoped he was okay...


End file.
